Description of book "Serit: The Journey to Wydra"
As the war on the world of Jasprin reaches to sort of a stalemate the warriors of both sides look into the sky to look for signs of prophecy and when they finally get one, both sides are set into new missions; one who wants to make sure it never comes true and the other which is ready to go all in to turn this prophecy into a reality. Meanwhile a sixteen year old boy who had just shifted to America due to the transfer of his father is all set for his first day in his new high school, but instead of having fun in studies and sports like other boys of his age, he finds that he and his new friends are being targeted by a mysterious enemy who wants to make sure that the Wydra's prophesy dies before it could become a root cause of a rebellion.
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Comments on book:
Total number of threads: 12
Roza Csergo 14.10.2019, 11:47:26
For some reason I can't post this on the Facebook discussion, so I'll leave it here.
This is high fantasy - with elves, dwarfs, other beings - mixed with hindu cultural elements, which gives the story a very nice perspective. How can I not like it?!
Congratulations Atul Saini for coming up with this idea and giving it life through words.
I see that you have made a lot of editing since I last read your story. Really well done with the paragraph separations. The verity of sentences make an enjoyable read. I also like the name choices, they are unique and easy to remember.
What could use some improvements are your descriptions. The actions are done well but you're often telling when it comes to emotions. I'm sure you could show the anger, the happiness, the worries of your characters.
I also think it's really interesting how you switch chapters between fantasy and modern day reality. And how you wave one into another gradually.
I, personally, find this story a good read, and recommend it to fantasy lovers. Great job Atul, keep on thriving.
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 14.10.2019, 13:38:57
Thank Roza
Roza Csergo 30.08.2019, 09:09:52
I like the changes you've made.
It become a much easier read.
And also the introduction of the story is nicely done. I enjoy its high fantasy elements.
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 30.08.2019, 10:37:45
Thnx Roza
Roza Csergo 03.08.2019, 21:24:16
Hi. Would you please consider follow for a follow? I'd love to connect with you. Thanks
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 04.08.2019, 07:42:06
Roza Csergo, Cool
Kat Moon 03.08.2019, 14:56:17
Unusual for me but I love it ❤️?
This thread has 3 Comments. Show
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 03.08.2019, 16:49:26
But why question mark?
Anamel Aleta 01.08.2019, 22:30:55
I find this story to be intriguing and you have a nice way of describing events so that the reader can picture them. However, I also noticed you drag on your sentences into long paragraphs which makes it hard to keep up and understand what's going on at some points. It's kinda like a bunch of different pieces and ideas all combined into one big sentence which I think would be clearer and easier to understand if separated more. I also noticed some sentences without periods. Besides that, this has a lottt of potential.
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 02.08.2019, 13:14:02
Well it may be because I sometimes set a specific words target for myself, can u tell me which parts u felt were too long and where u think sentences need to be elaborated
Atul Saini 10.07.2019, 20:59:52
Hey everyone, if you are enjoying my work do tell and if u find some flaws or feel that some segments need to worked on then do tell me down I'm the comments, it helps me in improving my work a lot
The last comment in the thread:
Yoseph Sidena 04.07.2019, 23:35:35
This sounds actualy intresting
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 05.07.2019, 17:11:30
Yoseph Sidena, Trying my best
Douglass Millsap 01.07.2019, 20:25:12
Did you invent all these names?
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 01.07.2019, 22:38:06
Douglass Millsap, Yup
Joe Marh 26.06.2019, 20:10:05
will you continue soon?
This thread has 3 Comments. Show
The last comment in the thread:
Joe Marh 30.06.2019, 16:09:07
Atul Saini, sounds good
Roza Csergo 26.06.2019, 11:25:35
Thumbs up for this story.
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 26.06.2019, 19:29:58
Roza Csergo, Thnx
Clayton Terrel 21.06.2019, 16:04:07
in my library
This thread has 5 Comments. Show
The last comment in the thread:
Clayton Terrel 25.06.2019, 18:41:24
Atul Saini, well, that´s ok
Mark Pearson 22.06.2019, 13:37:23
good story
The last comment in the thread:
Atul Saini 22.06.2019, 21:12:24
Mark Pearson, Thanks