Lost In Faith

Totally Lost

I did not mind walking through the streets aimlessly that night though it was already almost midnight. I just did not know what to do. Mama needed to undergo immediate surgery to remove her uterine myoma due to excessive bleeding.

I was just only eighteen years old, who was supposed to be in college. Yet, due to financial scarcity as my father was alone in raising a very meager income as the sole provider of the family, I did not have the chance to pursue my studies. Right after high school graduation, I found myself working at a cap factory instead, and helped in our financial matters.

Adding another fear and burden to my frustrations, mama had this urgent situation. My salary was, likewise, too meager to provide the cost of the procedure. None among my relatives could also provide since everyone else was fighting the battle of financial setbacks. I could neither borrow from my acquaintances since I could not vouch any capacity to pay!

"Bang! Bang! Bang!"

I was so startled when an exploding firecracker was thrown a few steps in front of me that my eyes rolled wide in fright! All of a sudden, my gaze was subconsciously fell into a man inside a black car who was pulling out of a parking lot. The moment our eyes locked, he let out a gentle laugh. He waved a hand and yelled out something I could not hear well, so I went near to him.

"Be careful! It's already late at night, and bad boys are all around."

I smiled weakly, and he stared into my eyes.

"Thank you, sir!"

He hesitated for a moment, but then he offered to give me a lift to our place. I could tell he was sincerely worried about seeing me wandering alone in that dangerous streets.

A night before that, my friends and I were watching a movie wherein the female lead happened to have the same problem as me. Only that, it was a different disease. When she saw that her mother was dying, she accepted the offer of her mother's employer to make her his mistress in exchange for her mother's life. Somehow, it left me the impression that if I were given the same opportunity, I would do the same.

I looked at the man before me. He was in his early 50's, but he still looked sturdy and handsome. His features suggested that he came from a Filipino - Spanish characteristics. The layers of firm muscles sticking to his cotton shirt could tell of his fitness and active lifestyle. The evil thought that kept on playing in my mind was, surprisingly, turned into reality right before my eyes. Nevertheless, I still had that still, small voice in my mind reminding me to be cautious of this trap.

"Thank you, sir! I will be alright," I said with a smile, waved a hand, and quickly left off.

I wondered why I was not alarmed and frightened at that time. It might be because I was expecting it to happen. Or, because the man looked so gentle and harmless, not to mention his attractiveness. It could also be because I had already pre-created the event deep in my mind.

Thinking of him while I walked down the street, I could not believe that my wish was happening right before me! I then realized that a particular saying was right after all that, "whatever our minds can conceive, our bodies can, indeed, achieve ".

As I kept walking, I noticed that the car was trailing behind me. A sense of fear suddenly engulfed me, but an inner voice was also telling me that I should not let this opportunity go. This was already my rare chance to save my mother from dying helplessly. I could not afford to lose her just because we could, in no way, sustain the medical expenses.

Had not my mother made lots of sacrifices for us? If I were the one to need the surgery, would she just plainly tell the doctor to let me die in peace just because we had no money? Of course, not! She would also go desperate to find ways to save me!


I, wickedly, told myself that if this man wouldn't stop following me, I would certainly accept his offer to bring me to his home. Yet, I knew well that his proposal might not be purely out of goodwill.

As the law of attraction applied, he finally sped up and stopped before me.

"Come in. I will not harm you!" the man smiled at me, and his soft gaze convinced me that he was harmless.

I paused for a moment and gathered the courage to refuse to this fantastic opportunity. Sensing perhaps that he could win over me, he came out from his seat and walked to the other door to open it for me. Vulnerable as I was, I finally stepped in and sat down quietly.


"Who could be in her right mind to wander in the streets at this hour? Aren't you afraid you might get raped?" he spoke, breaking the growing silence.

"You will not do it to me, will you? " I replied straightforwardly, looking into his eyes.

He chuckled at my reply before asking, "How big is your problem for you to make a stupid decision?"

I knew it was stupid of me, but I did not waste time. I answered him in all honesty and straightforward manner. I may not have asked him for financial assistance, but he had seen through my unspoken wishes.

"I see that you have brilliant ideas and, therefore, believe that you should get a college education. Think about this. I can shoulder your mother's surgical expenses and send you to college, but you should be my secretary."

I did not say a word. I could tell between the lines that I would not only be his personal secretary. I knew very well that he just had to tame me first before hooking me up into his bait. After all, he knew how badly I wanted to get a college education.

After a few minutes, he dropped by a fast-food restaurant and ordered lots of food for me to take home. As we finally reached our place, he gave me a business card with his complete details on it. He also revealed his ownership of a specific group of companies to which I was so familiar with.

"I am not a tyrant. No need to be afraid of me," he gently said with a soft smile before leaving.



Marilyn Lucero

Edited: 14.03.2020

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