Will I ever get the fuck I want?

Oliver's personal Hell

Oliver, "Heterosexual, Heterrrroooosexual, heterosexxxxuuuuuaaaallllll"

Maddy, "stop it! Oliver stops it, please why are you reading this same word over and over again."

Oliver, "I don't know Maddy, has your dad asked you to tell him about a girlfriend of yours that doesn't exist. I mean since I turned 16, it's only been a month by the way but he keeps looking at me like he is expecting someone a girl to come home with me but it is always the only girl that comes with me that is you, Maddy. He even thought one time that we were in a relationship, I told him that Maddy wishes only in her dreams. How 'am I ever going to tell my extremely homophobic parent the disgusting ugly truth about me, Martha help me!"

Maddy, "I can't tell you sir because inside you and outside all I see is beauty. By the way, I am the most popular skinny girl at School, and you think I can only wish about having you."

Oliver, "I know that you can have me as long as you are okay with not getting a dick inside you because believe me darling muffin I am the most bottom gay you will ever meet.*

Maddy, "Hmm, girl your skin is flawless then mine I mean how do you maintain it, how do you maintain the flawless blonde hair with skinny body shape and your hair aren't all like downwards they are always till the middle of your face, and your cheeks are fluffy and soft and you are more skinny than most of the girls and smaller and cute for a boy you are much smaller. Plus your sea-green eyes add a ravishing look to your face, I mean I don't even wanna know how you remain that flawless throughout the year."

Oliver, "What do you see in me? I mean like tell me the things you like about me the things you hate, I mean just try to describe me."

Maddy, " I mean you look like Billy Bloom from the Freak Show 2017 film it was about this gay boy.....well whatever I think you look absolutely girly all the time I don't know if it is the sense of fashion or natural but you don't look handsome you look gorgeous, when I look at you I see this boy who is having beautiful blonde hair, and a skinny look with very unique eye color, also you are extremely interested in science, your IQ is 149 so you might even be a genius, you think Dior stopped making new fashion after the 70s, and now it just steals the ideas from the fashion designers of Balenciaga. You think that we should act like our Uterus exploded if we embark upon a trash can, or if we were to step on a wrapper or a plastic. You keep bragging about how Homophobia is bullshit, and that homophobes have no right to live, you even dragged me once to the house Henry Kane, and we both wrote fuck homophobes outside his wall. I mean you even blackmailed Chris to shout Pride during School debate, he got so embarrassed. You think Queen Elizabeth 2 just had sex recently. You told me that what happened with Hilliary Clinton that Voting was rigged that it was wrong, I mean what is that I haven't described yet, so my friend that is you with interest in everything. I mean you thought that if they ever stopped research on dark energy or if time travel wasn't made possible till 2025, you were going to walk in the streets naked with Science is naked written all over your body. Oh my God! I just realized I have never seen anyone like you."

Oliver, "That is so true honey because none like me ever existed uniqueness is also one of the attributes I am unique at."

Maddy, "Ready go to School now it is getting late and we both are still in skinny trousers and t-shirts."

Oliver, "I mean it's obvious bitch that you will be in a hurry to get to school, obviously, Harry will be waiting outside the gate for you, I see it isn't easy being the most popular Skinny curly haired white girl with popularity dating the most popular lacrosse player at School. I think he is a douche, I mean I don't hate him please don't break up with him as you did with Jason just because I said his hairs weren't cool enough."

Maddy, "You see Olly Boyfriends come and go but you and I are constant one soul, so when you say some isn't good they just aren't good enough, now let's go bitch."

Oliver, "Ok bitch!"

We both decided to walk till the School, as Maddy knew I wasn't in the mood for Bus today, it's like she knows everything about before I even speak it out loud, I am Oliver a 16 years old extremely ambitious boy in a world that is built to break those ambitions.

Maddy, and I became friends when we were in 1rst Grade. I insulted her on her dress, and she was excited to know more about fashion and what do I think that she should wear looking at that diverse thinking we became friends instantly.

Yes, I am Gay, I am still in the closet, never told anyone at all about this only Maddy. My family is Christian, I want to become my own God, one day I will be a Scientist and find a way to achieve power unto a God or a demi-God for that matter just to prove my family wrong.

My family is extremely homophobic I have two siblings brother and sister. They are both in Universities, however, when they are home they don't make my life easier either, they are also like waiting for me to announce that I have a girlfriend. I mean they don't even think about the possibility that I might be gay.

I mean I read Novels all day, reading books for me is like entertainment like Netflix, I recently read Simon and the homo sapiens agenda, it was interesting, I also watched Love, Simon, Love, Victor, Call me by your name, the way he looks but none of them motivated me enough to come out.

I mean I don't know if I ever can I mean this is not a movie, or a series this is real life. I mean here I don't know what the fuck is going to happen next if I came out. I live in London so if my parents threw me out I don't think I will be able to handle living on the streets during winter. 

I mean let's be real nobody really knows what the hell are we doing here in this abyss, I mean except me of course but even for me in some matters even I don't know what I might be doing. 



S ALI

Edited: 28.09.2020

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