I wake up by 4 am starving, stomach growling like insane, should i eat something tomorrow, but that means my body will stop burning fat and start burning whatever i ate, but I'm so hungry i can't and my head is killing me.
I decide to have some fruit, i go to the kitchen and open the fridge, oh we have nutilla sticks, I take an apple and start chewing at it with the nutella playing in the back of my mind, i finished it, that was refreshing, i want some water, or an excuse to open the fridge and look at that nutella, i can't stare for long, one stick won't be bad, i take one, then two, then three, four, five this is so good, before i know it the pack was empty.
What! No have i really eaten that much, that's discusting, what a pig, i don't deserve to be in this band if I'm such a foodi foolish ugly loser.
I drink some water to make what about to come easier and rush to the bathroom. Once I'm there i bend over the toilet and bring two fingers to my mouth, i start dry heaving as what i ate isn't much and my belly have been empty for long, i start punching my stomach, come one come on, i throw up the nuteela sticks and finally the apple.
I sit there catching my breath for a seconde before i hear a knock on the door, whose awake right now, it's barely dawn, "who's in there" i hear Jungkook say from behind the door, thank God i locked it, " me" i sasfy with a scratchy voice.
" are you ok?" he says, omg did he hear me " yeah I'm fine" i say as i unlock the door and open it, " Jimin you look aweful what happened" he says with worry coating his words, look what you've done, you mqde him unnecessarily worried about your worthless self " I wasn't feeling so well after last nights dinner, i ate too much I guess" I lie skillfully, " Jimin you barely touched your food yesterday" he says confused, shit is it really that noticeable, " don't worry I'm ok now" i say with a reassuring smile, " what wakes you up at this hour?" i ask changing the supject " i needed the bathroom, can i use it now?". " oh of course sorey to keep you for long" i say getting out of his way.
" Jimin" he holds my arm " take some rest you look like you need it" he says with a serious look, i nod and tell him goodnight.
As i walk into the room my eyes sting with tears but no crying won't solve this, i open my phone and find a home exercise video and start copying the guy in the video.
After an hour i fall back into my bed and close my eyes.