Even as a lie, let me call you as mine.
I looked at my quivering hands, my heart was about to leap out of my chest and reside where I left her in the crying mess form. My heart clenched and I could feel this tingling sensation of pain surging through my body, causing me to lose my senses and fall into a deep pit of misery; her ravage.
My breath hitched as tears began to roll down my cheeks. Tears gleamed my face as I let out a sob followed by the deafening sound of cries. I couldn't speak anything, her anguished face affect my mind drastically. The way she was crying, not being able to speak, it pricked my heart.
When you understand me that much then I can also understand you. She cannot hide the fact from me that she loves me too. And the love I felt for her was enough to prove my loyalty that I will never even think about anyone if I have her.
When there are no distance then why are we miles apart?
When your eyes reflect the same love as me then why there are tears in those eyes where I reside? When there's no restriction then why she has shackles around her feet? Why there are thorns of flowers in our path and seem impossible to cross?
But I know that I don't have any answer to my questions and all I could do is to confront her and talk to her about it.
I sniffed and wiped my tears and got out. I went back to her place to see whether she had taken the roses or not. A smile crept upon my lips when I saw that she has taken it. I walked close to her door and put my head over it and the sound of her sobs reached my ears. She is crying. Trying of muffle her sobs but the sound still reached my ears. I put my head over the door and whispered,
"I will remain at your doorstep for the rest of my life." tears also rolled down my cheek and this feeling of intense sorrow filled me. Desperate, lost, miserable and even after trying to take out our agony no one but us could give consolation to each other.
My love drowned you in devastation.
Her sobs reached my ears and I kept letting out silent tears.
She was crying in my place and I was shedding tears in her place.
Darkness took over me and I woke up and found that I slept outside her house. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I ran my hand in my hair, it was dawn and I spent my night outside her place. A void smile crept upon my lips and I stood up. Love is strange emotions, it made you do things you never thought you will. Filled with heartbreak, I went back to my car and drifted to sleep again.
I then woke up after a few hours. I went back home and got ready for work but heart didn't want to face her maybe because I don't have enough courage to face her. She didn't accepted my love or even reject it. What is she thinking?
I mustered some courage and tried to leave but my steps stopped.
"What are you doing? Aren't you getting late?" Mr Layne came. I scoffed and replied,
"You won't understand."
"That you are in love." He said leaning on the wall.
"Don't concern yourself with me anymore, Mr Layne." I said rudely. He laughed and said, "Your one call is enough for her."
"I said I don't need your advice." I said getting agitated but he just continued, "She is waiting for an invitation."
"Just like your mother did." He sneered. "Enough Mr Layne, don't ruin my day." I said exasperated. "I am not like you." I growled.
"But they all have one motive; your money." He continued his Goddamn habit of judging people and I couldn't be able to hear more of his shit so I left.
I gulped and tried to keep up my frontage. I walked inside. I walked past Garnet's cabin, my heart skipped a beat as I inhaled deeply and went to my cabin.
After a while, Garnet came and gave me my schedule and told me about my meeting and left. Her voice was softer than usual, she didn't met my gaze and I can clearly see that chaos in her eyes but I decided not to bother her about it and pretend what happened last night was just the deception of our eyes which is no good than a white lie.
Today, instead of tugging the rose behind her ear, I decided just to put it over her desk.
I went to her cabin and saw her,
"Do you need anything, Sir?" She asked.
"I.. Uh.. Just came to give you this." I said nervously, showing her the rose. She gave an innocent nod and remained still.
"C-Can I?" I asked hesitantly.
"Yes." She replied. I walked to her as my heart began to beat at an abnormal pace. I felt nervous as I could feel this strange sensations fluttering inside me.
I stood in front of her, she kept looking down. My heart was skipping it's beats. I felt so awkward. I pushed her hairs on her face and tugged the rose behind her ear.
We both looked at each other and didn't said anything. My eyes glistened with heartbreak as hers were puffy with dolour. I forced my lips to curve upward and took a step back. I turned to leave but then I saw that fog between us to become clear as I could see the reason of her tear and no reaction to my confession even if she felt the same. Lucien. She is his girlfriend. She is dating him even if her heart belongs to me she is physically his. Even if our soul is connected we cannot become one because she is his. Maybe now I can understand the reason behind her tears a little.
"L-Lucien." She quickly pulled away and went to him. "What are you doing here?" She asked him.
"Nothing.. Just came to meet Roy so I thought I should say hi to you too." He smiled. I also turned to him. My heart skipped a beat, distress how he will react to us like this.
"Beautiful as always." Lucien said referring to the rose in her ear.
"You know what Roy? She has kept all those roses you gave him with her... even if they wilt." he told me and gave Garnet a side hug. Garnet smiled sadly and avert her gaze. I smiled and a little and Lucien laughed a little,