The next day in school, I avoided Kathryn and David like the plague. I even faked being sick to get out of the classes we had together.
I couldn't stop thinking about our kiss last night, which means I couldn't stop thinking about him. I could feel myself heading down a dark path, and I didn't even want to know what my mom would say.
Just before school ended, I felt someone pull me into an empty classroom, and then the lights were shut off so I know that it was him because he didn't want anyone to see us.
"What are you doing?" I asked, backing away from him. "Someone could see us."
"You're avoiding me," he stated, and I folded my arms over my chest.
"I'm just trying not to make things weird," I admitted. "I like Kathryn, David. I don't want to hurt her," I told him. "And you shouldn't either."
"I don't!" He yelled. "It's just that... I can't get you out of my head. I can't stop thinking about last night. Sometimes when I kiss her, I think about you, and I feel like shit." He ruffled his hair, and I started to feel so bad for him. "I don't know what to do," he said.
"Neither do I," I told him.
He heaved a heavy sigh, then moved my hair behind my ear as he came closer. I felt sick about it, but I couldn't wait for him to kiss me again. It was like the medicine my body has been asking for all along; pure heroin.
He placed his lips on mine, his free hand flowing gently down to my hand. Our kisses transitioned from unsure to longing in a minute, and I pulled away from him.
"We can't do this here," I told him, and he buried his face into my neck.
"I'll honestly want to do it anywhere," he said. I laughed, pushing him away.
"Someone will see us, David."
"Okay," he sighed. "But will you just... will you come by tonight?"
"Tonight?" I blinked.
"I just wanna see you," he said, and I swear I could feel my insides flare up.
"You wanna see me or you wanna kiss me some more?" I asked him, cocking my head to the side teasingly.
"Both," he grinned.
And so I went. I told everyone that I was going to bed early, then snuck out of the back door when they were distracted.
I know it was wrong, but me being seventeen and this being my first taste of anything like this, my body was so eager to please him. It was like it was asking for the sexual awakening it has been lacking all these years.
I sat beside him on his bed, and flipped through the television while he placed seldom kisses on my neck. I was so nervous that I needed to be distracted in order to not lose my shit. Of course he wasn't as nervous as I was, I assume he had some experience.
I knew this was wrong, but for some reason, I just couldn't stop it. It was like my head was trying to tell me to stop, but everything else was too focused on David.
He really made me realize just how inexperienced I was, not just at love but at life as well. He was my first kiss, and for some reason I have a feeling he's going to be a lot of firsts for me.
I spent my whole life in that apartment, with no company besides my Mom, an old lady and her cat. My world just got so much bigger, and no one prepares you for that.
"Are you nervous?" He asked, running his fingers through my ragged, dirty blonde curls. I nodded in response, and he turned my face so that I was looking at him. "Don't be nervous," he said.
"I've never done any of this before," I admitted to him, and he smiled at me.
"Yeah, trust me I know," he responded. "We don't have to do anything that you don't want to."
"Well I didn't say I didn't want to," I said, making us both laughed. "But, I don't know how this is supposed to go..." I trailed off, trying not to think about Kathryn.
He smiled softly at me, finally letting me go. "I'll be honest, I don't know how this is supposed to go either." He sighed, scooting to the edge of the bed. "I love Kathryn," he said. "There's nothing wrong in our relationship, but ever since I met you, I just cant stop thinking about you," he told me, and I pulled my knees up to my chest.
I didn't say anything, I like Kathryn too, but I cant stop thinking about him either. "Do you think we're bad people?" I asked, and he shook his head.
"I think that I'm confused, and you just got caught up inside of it," he shrugged.
"Do you think we should stop now while we still can?" I asked him, but that was followed by a smirk.
"You mean if we can?" He corrected and I smiled softly at him.
"You'd rather walk around with the guilt monster on your shoulder?" I asked him, and he shook his head softly.
"No, but I like you, and I don't really know what to do about that," he said.
"Well for starters, you need to stop coming over so much. Blake is really suspicious and he saw us kiss once, so if you keep coming over, I'm pretty sure he's going to know why," I told him, and he shook his head.
"Well I been coming over long before you moved in," he said. "So your new brother is just going to have to deal with it." I shook my head in protest.