Afterwards, Jordan stormed off in another direction; leaving me and Catalina
deadlocking our eyes. She looked at me the same way she did when she
was at my doorstep the day she lost her mother. With glowing red cheeks,
and a stare that just shows a torn heart; whenever she was intensely hurt,
she never bothered saying anything; she wanted you to read it in her eyes. I
read it alright; very loud and clear. She began strutting over to me, but
Serenity came in through the hallway doors and skipped over to my side.
“Hey Miles; I’m sorry for keeping you waiting so long” she said. Then she
gave me a profound kiss; oh please, Serenity. I couldn’t push her away,
because that’d be rude, and I wanted to stop because Catalina was just
standing there; watching us! When Serenity stopped, she turned around and
saw Catalina very close to tears; “What’s wrong, cat?” she asked in
curiosity. Cat just turned around and walked away; “What? Did we do
anything wrong?” she asked.
I roll my eyes; “Serenity, you kissed me in her face; tell me how she would
feel?” I say. Serenity winnows her eyes at me; “Excuse you, last time I
checked you were my boyfriend and not OUR boyfriend; I’ll do what I want
with you, okay?” she says astonished.
Whatever… I didn’t have time for her or for this right now.
During the evening, while I was in bed, I felt terrible for cat, so I unblocked
her; I recognized that her status updates were all about sadness and gloom,
so I just wanted to keep her company:
(Hi cat) (I can’t talk right now; I'm at a funeral) (What! Who died?) (My
feelings for you)(Now why are you being boring?) (Because you are
here) (I can see why Jordan broke up with you…) (Por que?)
I wasn’t even going to bother answering that because that’d be childish; I
can’t really blame her for what she did; I was the love of her life, and seeing
me kiss another must’ve been painful to look upon.
The next day at school, while Catalina and I were sitting next to each other
in Mathematics; for a while we ignored one another, but then she gave me a torn piece of paper, which read: “Miles, I miss you.” Well… that was
emotional and stuff, but I was already in a relationship; it wouldn’t be fair on
Serenity. So I write back: “Catalina, don’t.” She looked real grief-struck, and
I doubt that I was of any use to suppress it in that moment.
So she whispered “I know I'm not good enough; Miles I tried my best.” And
then I heard her sniffle. She was seriously holding back her tears; she then
leans in unto me and places her head on my chest. “From the first hug I
gave you, Miles, I’ve always enjoyed hearing your heart beat” she said
tranquilly. It’s nice when someone uses you as a shoulder to cry on; it gives
a sense of purpose and a really good feeling.
After class, Serenity looked unhappy
“What? Are you just going to stand there and I'm supposed to guess what’s
wrong?” I ask. She blows her curly hair out of her face: “Miles, you were
hugging Serenity” she said. I nod my head in agreement; “I fail to see the
problem” I reply. She looks at me like I'm gaga or something: “Miles, I'm
yours and you are mine!” she screams. But I don’t like such things; it’s too
immature really. “Serenity, don’t look for combat; you aren’t getting one” I
respond while yawning. I simply walk away from her and go sit on the
bleachers on the sports ground.
Catalina tried her luck with me as I was sitting there; “Hey sweetie” she said
while sitting with her friends around me. “What are you saying?” I ask in
confusion. “Miles, Miles, Miles; when are you going to say that you are
mine?” she says bizarrely.
One Wednesday afternoon, Serenity was out of town with her mom, so I
was missing her. I went out for a walk at about dusk; when the sky was
purple-ish pink-ish; the birds were once again being called back to heaven
by God and all the parents were calling their kids to come back in the
house. Serenity bout me new air pods that were really loud and in good
quality. I was listening to sad music; sad music was just a part of my natural
self; even when I was happy, I still liked sad music. But I never really
listened to that pagan music. I sat down at the park where I’d first met Catalina; she was sitting on a swing all by herself. She was sad that day
and, still to this day, she hasn’t told me why she was sad.
I sat on the swing where she had been sitting while really “feeling” that
music. Then someone tapped my shoulder and sat on the seat next to me;
you can probably guess who it was: Catalina…
“Hey Miles… it’s been a while” she says somberly. She had tired rings
under her eyes, which told me she’d been crying; a lot. “Hi Catalina… I can
see you’ve been sad” I respond. She smiled at me; “Uhm… are you still
going out with Serenity?” she asked with gloom.
There wasn’t really a woman whom I was connected to the way I connected
to Catalina; I felt like we were made for one another. She loved the things I
loved and I loved the things she loved; since Catalina lost her mom, she’d
always been really close to me, because I always did my best to understand
her. When there was an issue at her house, she’d come over to my house; I
would sleep on the air-mattress while she slept on my bed. The thing is that
I really loved Catalina; I didn’t like when people brought her to tears.
She was a very broken person and was easily hurt by other people’s words
if they were not careful. That day cat had such a sore look in her eyes that it
almost made me want to cry for her; I could tell she wasn’t joking; the
intense ocean blue color in her eyes began changing. “Miles please… there
isn’t some other guy who will play with my hair or put on the other earphone
and enjoy music with me; it feels great to sleep knowing that you are by my
side. I miss texting with you, I miss playing with you and hugging you and
being with you. Miles how on earth should I tell you that I love you?” she
gave me this speech
But it didn’t mean that it was fair for cat to bring tears to other people’s eyes;
for example, Serenity. Though she was far from me, Serenity was still my
girlfriend no matter how many tears Serenity cried wouldn’t change that fact.
I held her hand and looked into those florescent eyes of hers; “Serenity, I
will always love you; you are a great part of me and you’ll always be a part
of me, but it isn’t fair that I break up with Serenity because she will also cry just like you are” I tell her. “So what; who do you love more: the love of your
life or the new girl next door?” she asked me.
But that questioned enraged me. “Listen very carefully, Catalina! I love you,
okay? But that is not an excuse for me to break Serenity's heart; I can never
hate you Catalina, but there’s no way I’ll break another person to make you
happy” I tell her sternly. I noticed as tears came back into her eyes; “Why
are you doing this to me, huh?” she said. “I'm not telling you anything; leave
me alone until Serenity dumps me or something..." I tell her