Damaged Beyond Repair

Chapter 20

The same old again. I was so darn used to the pattern by now.

Scream, Trash around, and apologize.

I had taken the responsibility to deal with him along with his demons and I was going to do just that.

"Alana, don't go. You always baby him, and then he gets away with practically everything. You're turning into his favorite footpath and letting him walk all over you." Dwight pointed out.

The man had a valid point.

"Don't worry." I assured him, "He's gonna get an earful if he pulls that crap on me again."

I went downstairs, followed by Claire who was right behind me. "I think he went into the garden."

To trash what? Water fountains? Bird baths?

I nodded and sauntered out of the living area and stepped onto the porch. The sun shone so bright, I had to shield my eyes. There he was, the sun-kissed twin brother of Goldilocks, rocking himself on the large white swing; face down, with his ray-bans on. His hair looked different in the sun, the color of the bronzer in my tote. I approached him. He pretended to not see me when I had practically stood under his nose.

My poor little broken boy.

I pulled off those ray-bans, which revealed furious red blood-shot eyes.

"Can I sit with you?" I tried sweet-talking.

Rowan shook his head, "No. You can't."

"Tell me what's going on in your head right now."

He kept rocking the swing, back and forth, back and forth. His jaw tensed, "I want to push Dwight in front of a speeding car."

I swallowed hard, "Why?"

Rowan ignored my question, "What were you two doing in his room?"

It was high time I'd punched someone in the face, and my palm twitched with anticipation, "you know what, Rowan, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time."

He looked surprised by what I'd said.

"I'm sick and tired of giving you the same speech. I thought we were through this yesterday. Dwight and I were just talking, you hear?" Calm down Alana, take a deep breath. I kept telling myself.

"So what did you guys talk about?" that guy had some nerve, looking me in the face and talking with such arrogance, "About how difficult it could get to prove me crazy or how you were better off with him than me. It's like defying me brings you some kind of inner peace, might as well tell me if you think the older one is a better option. I'm ready to back off."

"YOU, ROWAN." I was on brink of tears, "You're fucking crazy."

He smiled at me, like I'd given him the best compliment ever, "I'm glad you realized sooner."

"Fuck you!" I said.

"Almost did. Twice." He winked at me.

Tears began to sting my vision. "You are such a JERK!"

I thought of giving my twitching palm some peace, and so I struck him hard, spun around and trotted back inside the house without a backward glance. I'm sure he'll have a totally different reason to rage around with now. Claire stood in the dining area with Kyo who appeared to be still having breakfast.

"Alana." Claire called out to me.

"Claire-chan." Kyo said, "what about my scrambled egg?"

"You seriously have a bad timing, Tachibana." She followed me, "I'm throwing you on the next flight to Tokyo with that crew you hate. Let your Obaa-san look after your demands."


"Alana, wait up."

He kept doing that again and again. And I was thinking I could change him when I couldn't even control my anger. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I managed to run upstairs but Claire caught up with me. I turned to face her, "He's such a jerk sometimes."

"I know. He'll come around and apologize." Claire assured, "Don't let him get to you, Alana. His anger issues are his worst enemies; he'll have to fight them first. Don't misunderstand him. Rowan doesn't mean what he says."

I envied Rowan at that moment. Even though he thought no one cared for him, clearly his family did. Claire and Dwight were trying so hard to make things easier for him. Well, I didn't approve the kind of stunt Dwight pulled yesterday but I guess that's how he dealt with Rowan. Dwight's in-your-face attitude was the only reason Rowan didn't like him.

"I'll just go and lie down for some time."

She nodded, "Sure."


I woke up in a dark place, a type of a dungeon. I noticed the ceiling was far up—the darkness had covered the entire ceiling. The place was empty.

Where the hell am I? What kind of a place is this?

"Hello." My voice echoed through the walls, "Can anyone hear me?"

Then I heard the loud ear-piercing screams, the loud wails. I ran in the direction of the voice that boomed around. I stumbled, fell, climbed to my feet and took off through the long hallways. As I neared the voice; I sensed the familiarity in the voice.

"Rowan." I recognized the agonized voice.

The screams never stopped. I walked deeper into the hall, and noticed Rowan to be crouched low on the cement floor beyond large pillar walls separating me from the cellar. He was totally miserable, like a zombie. He looked up at me with hollow eyes, "Alana."

I began shaking those steel pillars that was the only thing keeping us from being with each other, "I'm going to break this."

"Get me out, Please." Rowan pleaded, "I want to go with you."

"You're coming with me, Rowan. I promise." I assured him, knocking the steel pillars with my leg—those things wouldn't even budge. "Don't worry, I'll do something."

"Help me. Please. Get me Out! Get me Out! " Rowan screamed at the top of his lungs, pounding on the pillars.

A black fog enveloped us; blinding me completely. I didn't stop my attempt at breaking the pillars-- the endless screaming in my ear like a mantra. I'll break this thing for sure. I need to get Rowan out of there. He's suffocating. He'll die. I offered him my hand as the fog appeared again, blinding my view. Rowan's finger tips touched mine but in a matter of seconds the fog disappeared and so did Rowan but his screaming echoed in my ear—as the voice drifted farther away.

Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash)

Edited: 17.08.2020

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