January 1, 2019
My Dearest Charles Benedict Sivan,
How are you, my love? I guess this is my first and last letter to you before I disappear. Forgive me if I didn't even talk to you before, sorry if I left you. The night we fought and separated, I did not know what to say to you because I was really scared. Do you remember the day we broke up? Didn't I let you know in the morning that I was leaving with Klare because we were going to a friend's party? The truth is, we didn't really go to Madelyne's party. Klare accompanied me to the hospital for a checkup because I was feeling bad. I did not tell Mommy, Daddy and Kuya because I do not want them to worry. And I hid that from you because I also don't want you to worry about me. Can you still remember when I was sick that you were so worried? You even called a Doctor to come here to the house to see if I was okay.
Charles, I know you love me dearly and I know you do not want to lose me in your life. You proved that not all men are cheaters and women. I never wanted to lose you, Charles, you were my everything. I thought I can tell you my situation but I really can't. That is the reason why we ended up in a fight, I pretended that I was drunk to avoid talking about what happened in my day. I'm really sorry Charles, I got so stressed so I don't know what I was saying that night. How I wish I could turn back time and that's fine. If I could just go back in time, I would and will tell you the truth. Maybe that way, I'll be with you until my last breath. I am full of regrets right now, I do not want you to go to others. I don't care if it sounds selfish but you are the only man who I want to be with until the end of me.
Charles, the Doctor says I will not be here long. Maybe just a month and I will never see you again like ever. I want to be with you in my last month even that way. Maybe that will be enough for me to make up for you, Mommy and Daddy are totally willing to do whatever I want since it's my last month here on earth. If possible, I will marry you in my last month. But I feel selfish if I marry you even if it's my last month, eh, you won't be with me for the rest of my life. It's sad, right? I can't be with you every time you'll be munching on almonds, I'm no longer the one you can be with at your fave restaurants. How is that, I am no longer with you on your isaw dates. I hope you still won't eat balut if I'm not with you.
Babe, I hope you always remember that Annalyse Sunshine Fernandez loves you so much. If God gives me a chance, I'd still cross the universe for you, my love. I love you.
All my heart,