3. The grandmother

“I will always have those memories where you are the light that guided my life out of the darkness.”

-Thalia

February 23rd, 2002

“Grandma!” I scream when I see her and jump to her arms.

“Well, isn’t this my princess.” Says grandma hugging me strong. “Did you come to dance with me?” I nod. The grandmother is the best dancer in the world.

She turns on the sound system and we dance all over the house, I can only laugh because sometimes Grandma looks ridiculous, but she is like that. After dancing for a while, we get tired and go to the lake, she hugs me and when she does, I feel safe.

“Your grandpa and I use to sit here to talk about our days.”

“Was grandpa as special as you?” I asked her innocently.

“He was more special, he adored you, you were his beautiful baby.”

“I do not remember.”

“You were so little! But, if it comforts you, you also loved him very much.”

“I love him too. When I saw him in my dream, I was very surprised.” I tell her and she looks at me curiously, but I know she believes me.

“What did he say?” She asks and I think she will cry.

“He told me that I have to be strong, that there are battles that no matter how much you want, they cannot be won, but that is why you should not stop fighting.”

“Your grandfather, as wise as ever.” A tear slides down her cheek and she wipe it away, it is the first time I see her cry, so I get up to give her a big hug and a tremendous kiss on the face. “And why was that?” She knows how non-expressive I am.

“Grandpa sent it to you.” I smile at her the way I know he likes it.

March 03rd, 2016

“Come on Thalia, dance with me!” Analia tries to make me dance with her that silly song that she knows I hate. “Come on girl! Don’t be a hateful with your grandma.”

I look at her badly and leave the room, I’m not in the mood to dance. I sit in front of the small lake, looking at it.

“I’m sorry.” I say when I see her sitting next to me, she takes my hand.

“I have never understood your hate for that song, Tali, you should get over it.”

“I know, but I can’t help it. That song represents all the life that escapes from my hands.” I Sob “Can’t you understand it?”

“Why do you think that you are going to die, Tali? Don’t you want to live?” She looks at me censuring me.

“Analia, don’t you see how I am? I’m dying!” I yell at her and I know she has already noticed; her gaze turns sad.

“Don’t stop fighting yet Tali, you can live longer than you think.”

“It is not that I stop fighting, it is that I am already very tired.”

August 25th, 2016

Analia Smith:

I will always admire the funniest grandmother of all, I was blessed to have you in my life; I think I've always been quiet, but you always brought out the best and the worst in me.

 You never let the grandfather image disappear for us and I would like you to do the same for me when I leave, my parents are not going to forget me, but I want Toby not to either.

I remember you spoiled me when I was sick, I never told you, but you made the best soup.

I enjoyed each of your dances, as ridiculous as they were. I remember all the things I told you and the amazing advice you gave me along with those sweets and cakes that you know drove me crazy.

You know that I always loved hugs, and you gave me one of the most comforting.

The lake was a part of my life, I liked to go back to him.

The first and only time that I fell in love, you were the first one to notice and advised me.

I’m sorry if I was whiny, if I didn’t listen to you in many things.

I had fun with you until my smile faded and my soul was carried away.

You know that I love you and I ask you that please take care of Toby and be the light of my parents.

I love you more than you imagine grandma.

With all my love and affection:

Thalia

I put the letter aside, I am tired, I have vomited twice, I am very weak. I keep the letter in the chest.