Hold Onto Me (i'm Here to Fix You Book 2)

Chapter 18 - Either I kill you or my mom will


"Will you stop staring at me like that? I'm fine." I snapped. It's all very sweet that your boyfriend worries this much about you, but when you can barely move a muscle that he follows you with his eyes, it gets unnerving.

"The patch on your forehead says otherwise." Jake grumbled. He obviously doesn't agree with me going to work after what happened last night. I say why not? We rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night and they patched me up within a couple of hours, which allows me to be perfectly punctual for work.

I won't give my co-workers any more reason to think I'm being treated differently just because I'm the boss' girlfriend. They're already murmuring behind my back, all because Jake had the brightest idea to make our relationship known to the whole office over a month ago. Not that there weren't rumors before, but him coming straight to me after a stressful day spent dealing with his uncle and kissing the heck out of me in the middle of the office was quite an announcement. If they had doubts before, they were sure after that. Needless to say, Hillary didn't take it too well.

I sighed, fixing my hair just so the patch couldn't be seen. "You heard the doctor. It's nothing to worry about. It's not even the first time I knock my head, I'm fine."

"You lost a lot of blood, Silvia."

I rolled my eyes, finally ready to go to work. "The thing about blood, is that we've got a shit ton of it, so don't worry, I won't bleed out just yet." Although it is true that I lost a lot of blood.

You must be wondering, what the hell happened? Well, put simply: Jake has nightmares; those nightmares are often violent; his girlfriend, aka me, doesn't agree with sleeping separately, therefore she has been taking it upon her to subside said nightmares when they come. Well, last night I couldn't. The nightmare was more violent than usual, so when I tried to block Jake, like always, I wound up being tossed out of the bed, and I wound up knocking my head against the nightstand.

There. Now you have it. Nothing so dramatic. He speaks of blood gushing out, but the truth is, I just hurt my temple, nothing too bad. I lost consciousness due to the blow. Obviously, my boyfriend took it as bad as you could imagine.

"Silvia ..." Jake rubbed the bridge of his nose, not at all in the mood to joke for once, "don't you see? It could have gone a lot, lot worse!"

"But it went well instead." I forced a smile on my face. Yes, my head does hurt. Yes, I am worried about what have I gotten into. Yes, every fiber of my being tells me to listen to him and just give up. But I won't. Of course I freaking won't. I'm a fighter, I won't give up so easily, especially not now that we seem to be going so well, not now that we're this close to tackling his issues, Dr. Martin agrees with me.

"I could have killed you."

"But you didn't, and you wouldn't."

"You know I can't control myself when ..." Jake cursed under his breath, "Jesus Christ, woman, what are you even doing here?! You should have run off so long ago!"

I half smiled, turning around to look at him. I walked over to him, and raised my hand to caress his cheek, though not before having tucked my arm safely beneath my cardigan. He shouldn't see the bruises, sense of guilt would kill him. "I'm a stubborn ox, you should know that by now."

"Silvia ..." Jake sighed, grabbing my hand to slip it off his face, pushing me away, and began to pace the room, "you don't understand ... this is no child's play. If it happened once, it may happen again. Next time might be worse, so much worse. I just ..." he sighed heavily, kicking the wall by good measure. My heart sank when his voice broke. "I couldn't live with myself if I ..." he closed his eyes when his voice failed him.

I took slow steps, approaching him calmly, until I was sure he wouldn't react too harshly if I touched him. I slid my arms around his torso, and left my head against his back, which I kissed. "I'm not giving up on you, Jake. Not now, nor ever." He jerked against me, as if to shrug me off, but I resisted. "I'm tougher than I look, I can handle this."

"You can't!" He pushed back against me, snatching my hands off him, mad. "You can't handle this nor me. You can't keep going like this. It's been four months!"

"And I'm still fine."

He scoffed. "The fact that you used up almost all the bandages you bought when you first started sleeping at my place should tell you you're not."

Of course he noticed, how could he not. The wonderful thing about Jake, is that even if his mind has been submitted to the worst sufferance, even though it's been through all that pain, not to mention drugs, alcohol and whatnot, his brains is still there. He's still the sharpest mind I've ever met.

"Well, ok, maybe I got hurt now and then ... but it wasn't always you. I'm kind of clumsy, you know." I smiled as cheerfully as I could manage, but he didn't budge. It's true that I've been hurt sometimes these months.

A bruise here, a cut there, nothing too bad, it happens when your averagely sized female frame has to repeated block, pin down and soothe a 180 pounds strong man every night. However there are times when the marks aren't easy to hide, and the result is ... an overprotective neighbor convinces herself that your boyfriend is abusing you, so she calls the police, and he gets interrogated multiple times, until you assure them he didn't hit you.

Apparently now they don't need you to press charges to arrest him, so ... I had to spend hours convincing Lulu's mom that Jake doesn't abuse me, that if she sees bruises now and then, it's only because lately I'm more tired than usual, so I'm clumsier. She bought it in the end, but Jake did spend a night in jail.

"Come on ..." I pinched his cheek, "where's the cocky jerk I know?" This whole situation feels surreal sometimes, but I've learned long ago that my life is a soap opera. We even have the evil ex loitering around, waiting to see when will I give up. Although, officially, Olivia has started over with her life, moved out of Jake's place, found a job and all. She might even be dating some guy she met at the gym she works at.

Artemis Wolf

Edited: 07.11.2020

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