“I’m here to pick up a uniform? I’ve just been promoted to senior janitor.” I asked eagerly. The clerk looked mildly amused and shot me a bored glare from the back. “You must be thrilled.”, she commented. I laughed it off, and explained “No, it’s no biggie. I saw it com-” but she cut me off, parrying with “yea, listen. I don’t care. Senior janitors don’t require separate uniforms, so skat. Poppa top. Skedaddle.” she then glided off to the staff room, not caring at all about my predicament. I was confused, as the uniform I had was specifically made for my previous position. I started again, with “not even a badge? The one I have now says “Junior Janitor”, and I’m 23!” “It means get lost, duckling.”, she yelled, as the lady duck slammed the back door behind her. mean little quacker
I decided to leave, to try to catch an early train to my work. As I strolled to the station next to the shop strip, I scribbled out “junior” from my uniform. On arriving to the platform, I saw Jim, a co-worker sitting on an adjacent waiting seat. “Jim! So nice to see you again” I giggled as I ran over. He stuttered in embarrassment. “Y’know, I. Most co-workers greet each other with a simple “hi” or “how are you”. I’m not your grandmother, for Pete’s sake.” I smiled and retaliated with “You’re right. If you were my grandmother, you’d be kissing me all over. Consider yourself lucky.” A tram pulled up, though it wasn’t the one either of us needed to get on. I jumped on anyway. “I’d rather be late than talk with a sour crow like you.” I chirped as the doors shut in my face. I couldn’t hear Jim, but I read his lips to say “I’m not a crow, I’m a raven! I’m a respectable contributor to society!”. As the tram pulled away, I smiled.
The tram stopped a block away from my work, and was soon overtaken by another tram, no doubt carrying the moody Jim. As I made my way to my centre of employment, I felt a slow rumble. Pausing, I reached for my phone, but saw no messages. looking around it became plain other people could sense it too.
“General Janitorial, please.” I Inquired, standing in line to collect my various work items for the day, with a much more polite clerk. She took a bucket on wheels and placed it on the counter. placing a mop, sponge and wipe inside, she handed it to me. “Oh, one more thing.” She quickly said. “There’s a new guy on your floor, I was told you’ve been moved to work on ground zero.” I was flabbergasted. Ground zero is where all the cool stuff happens. Where all the dream police work…! My suspended animation was very suddenly unsuspended, as the clerk threw a badge at me, hitting me on my bill. Damn, guess those clerks are all the same. The badge read “Senior Janitor”
My disappointment was immeasurable when I was directed to clean out the back. Away from the tech, the secret agents and insane stuff. Granted they aren’t secret agents, more like confidential data researchers, or people that find out top secret stuff while being secret about it but screw it. In my mind, they’re secret agents.
Then, as odd as before, a low rumble started to… well, rumble. The water in my bucket started to slightly sway and froth. Then, it happened. The curtain separating me from the vortex was violently ripped and torn off by a large, dark pink tentacle that knocked me out.
I awoke to the sound of hydro guns blasting water at intense speeds, piercing through metal and wood, directly hitting the giant, dreamy kraken. It was working, too. Normal guns were quickly put down, as this monstrosity started to destroy everything it could. Monitors, desks, elixirs, benches full of books and even my lovely floor I had been mopping. Others decided to run, and I would’ve joined them, had I not seen a shiny silver rectangle where I was knocked out. My “Senior Janitor” Badge. Heck, if every workday is like this, and it’s my only way to get in, then that badge is worth something.
Ah, crap. I thought as I neared my saviour of a less brain-dead work life, as well as a flying space squid. I might get kraken cooties. The men on site were doing a fantastic job, nearly having the squid back inside the vortex. However, some genius decided to wear something metal, as my badge started to slide towards an executioner’s boot. Of course, it was the guy right in the middle of the action.
I lunged forward, diving between legs (and a pair of arms, too, I’m sure.) managing to get to my badge thief. Good. He saw me. Bad. “What the hell are you doing here? Get on an elevator!” I eyed the badge, as it started connecting to his boot. Frick. I dove towards his legs, grabbed the badge and ran. In the wrong direction.
I found myself on the edge of the bridge to the vortex before realise safety was the other way. Double frick. The kraken was high up but still above me. He was nearly at the ceiling, where no doubt he could escape. I didn’t care, I had my badge. I ran towards the elevator, when suddenly I started to gravitate towards the monster. Triple Mega Extra Frick.
The badge had started to lift me towards him. It was either death, or I couldn’t get clearance to an obviously eventful job. Yea, I know I could’ve just filed for replacement, but I didn’t think that far ahead. I managed to put my webbed feet on my badge and stand on it. Heck yea, Valhalla here I come. Looking at the monster, I could obviously see that he had taken up some very large, magnetic object causing the attraction. When close, I grabbed onto a slimy, wet tentacle and pushed myself up. I caught my badge before it flew up and unsurprisingly, went up with it.