As I closed my eyes I felt an instant connection, now the spirit had a face.
It was a man that looked a lot like Mr handsome but instead of ice blue eyes, his eyes were dark brown.
Then I started to see memories of him and Mr handsome sort of like a mini-movie, going through each memory of the time they spent together.
I open my eyes and see the man wrap his arms around Mr handsome in a protective way, then I'm shown the word brother.
"Did you have an older brother, that passed away?" I say looking into the ice blue eyes.
As soon as I said that, the table goes quiet and his eyes grow wide. I just wait as I keep on seeing the word brother over and over.
"Yes, I had an older brother," he says with a gruff voice squeezing my hand a little.
I nod my head and continue, however, stop when I start to feel a pain in the back of my head.
Then I hear the dreadful sound of a gunshot, which makes me jump a little. I take a deep breath and breathe through the pain.
"Are you ok?" the smiley man and Mr handsome ask at the same time, And I just nod my head.
"He was murdered ...... he was shot in the back of his head," I say softly.
He nods his head and looks down, then looks back up at me with furrowed brows looking at me in a confused manner.
Then I'm shown two names Hayden and James and a small blue cottage type house, then a golden retriever comes running from what I'm guessing was the backyard, the name Max flashed in my head.
"Who is Hayden," I say and look at Mr handsome.
"Ok this is freaky; have you meet her before Shooter?" I look over to a guy with blonde hair and blue eyes he looks about the same age as Mr handsome.
"No, we haven't met, and my name is Hayden," says Mr handsome or Hayden, I nod and continue.
"Do you know who James is would that be your brother?"
"Yes, his name was James," Hayden says
"He is showing me a small blue cottage and a golden retriever named Max, does that hold any significance for you?" I ask shifting slightly on my feet.
I think smiley man sees my discomfort and grabs a chair from another table and brings it over to me.
"Here take a seat girly," he says,
I give him a small smile and mumble a thank you, then look at Hayden for an answer.
He looks down at our hands and starts to rub his thumb back and forth on the back of my hand like he's in a trance.
He answers softly all the attention on me and him.
"That used to be where he lived, it hasn't been touched still to this day.... My parents and I don't really have the strength to clean out his house. And the golden retriever Max was his dog, we took him in, but passed away because he was depressed when James passed. He wouldn't eat he was suffering so we had to put him down."
As he's saying that I see all the memories of James and Max come through to me, I felt a tear escape but I quickly wipe it away with my free hand because it's not about me.
I have to deliver this message it's an important message. So, I swallow the lump in my throat and pushed through, well I'm trying to recover I feel Hayden move closer and hold my hand with both of his hands.
"He was twenty-three when he passed, he keeps on showing me the number twenty-three. And he keeps on showing me an American football and saying that it's not your fault. Does that make sense?" I ask Hayden
He takes a deep breath and nods staring me right in the eyes.
"yeah it does," he says gruffly
He looks around the table and every one of them holds the look of shock on their faces, then continues.
"It was back in high school during the night of the big game, I was the quarterback. I was on him every day that he had to come, I was the reason why he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings."
He takes in a shaky breath, then continues
"Because I kept on calling him non-stop, he was found with his phone in his hand with five missed calls from me." As he's saying that I'm shaking my head as I hear the words, not his fault, not his fault.
"No, Hayden he's saying it's not your fault" I squeeze his hand and tears start to fall from my eyes as James's anguish and desperation flows through me.
Hayden squeezes my hand back with his own tears in his eyes, which shocked the men around us.
He takes a deep breath and nods and looks at me, he almost looks relieved. Like some of the burdens had dissipated.
"He wants you to know that he's proud of you, he's proud of the Man that you have become." I pause and let out a little laugh which surprises the men.
"Sorry, he just said he knows you miss his beautiful face but look on the bright side you're the best looking brother now," I say and everyone bursts out laughing.
"That's James alright!" one of them shouts out
"Still conceited as ever," Hayden says with an amused smile and gives a shake of his head.
"He just wants you to know that he is truly at peace. And validating that he ended up with Max in the end and that he is looking over you and your Mum and Dad."
"And he wants you to move forward, he wants you to live the life that he couldn't have, he wants you to be happy."
"He's showing me joined hands together, for me that symbolise that he loves you and that he regrets not saying it enough when he was with you. He also wants to thank you for taking care of your Mum for him as she took it the hardest and for not giving up on your Dad." I say as I slowly lose that connection and let go of Hayden's hand.