Why had death decided to take him away from me? Oh Death, where is thy sting?
But I just couldn't endure the anguish I felt. It felt like my heart had been ripped off my chest. Having faith in his survival was comforting but realizing, with plausible evidence that he was gone, cut off every piece of me to shreds.
Now I knew how it felt.
I knew how it felt to lose someone who meant the world to me. I always heard people at school and other places dejected as a result of losing their folks but never had I expected death to come my way.
Of all people, it had to be Jason.
Suddenly, I couldn't put up with being in this room. I couldn't tolerate being in this hospital and everything it stands for. Pushing Dad aside, I leaped off his embrace and lurched to the door.
"Cassie please come back." Dad called but I chose not to listen.
When I stepped out of the room, I was hit with perplexity on what way would lead me out of this damn hospital. Should I take my right or left? I battled in confusion but turned to my right. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. Some people at the hallway paused their conversation and stared at me. When they realised that I'd been crying, they froze. It made me feel like they could see right through me and I hated it. I hated the vulnerability.
I rubbed off all the tears with the back of my hands and looked away, focusing on my task which was to leave this shitty place of pain. At that moment, I saw a young boy, possibly eighteen years old. He was lanky and wore a baggy shirt whose colour matched the pair of pants. With his back in view, I watched as he pressed a button on the wall which signalled the opening of two metal objects.
Yes, finally a means of escape! At the speed of light, I raced towards him like my life depended on it. I had been in an elevator numerous times but never knew how it worked. When the boy saw me, he laid hold of the two metal doors from closing to let me in. I nodded in appreciation and relaxed. He walked up to a corner in front of us and clicked on another button which made the elevator go down. I staggered a little but regained myself.
"Are you okay? Based on your gown, you're supposed to be in one of the rooms we just left." As he spoke, his eyes ran up and down my body in scrutiny. I glanced down at myself and realized I still wore the hospital gown. I sighed, escaping would be much easier if I was incognito.
"I'm alright thanks." I said and he smiled. Now that I could see his face, I realized he was really young, perhaps younger than I thought. His jet black hair was swept back in a fashionable way. He was quite skinny but I believed he felt comfortable in his body.
"Are you going down?" He asked and then I nodded. "Okay that's where I'm headed. My name is Jeremy and I'm one of the Janitors of this hospital." He had a goofy smile as he bragged of his work like he was the CEO of a multi-million dollar company. I only nodded.
I couldn't wait for this elevator to open up so I could leave.
"What floor were we in before we got in here?" I enquired, we seemed to be stuck in here for a longer period than I imagined it'd be. He gave me a Didn't-you-come-into-this-hospital-by-yourself-and-realized-that-yourself look but failed to ask me directly.
"This hospital consists of thirty floors and we're at the twentieth right now. We met at the twenty-eighth floor." He expounded while looking at the buttons of the elevator.
What! We were still far away from the last floor.
"Don't worry, we'll get there soon." Jeremy said. I couldn't imagine I said that out loud. I nodded faintly.
At that moment, a loud sound of thunder boomed before I heard the rain fall, I shrieked. That was certainly the last thing I expected. I looked at Jeremy and found him watching me, trying to understand why I was in a hospital and wanting out. I chose to remain silent.
Few minutes later, the elevator dinged and opened but neither of us moved. I suddenly felt the need to tell him a little about me. I owed him that for keeping the elevator open for me and trying to cheer me up.
"I'm Cassieopia, I've been blind my whole life but got my sight after an intense operation, only for me to hear that my boyfriend is dead and buried in an ocean where I'd never see him again." The words flowed like an endless stream and the tears reappeared reminding of my predicament.
I rushed out of the elevator without giving the poor boy any chance for sympathy. When I got into the lobby, it was a bit crowded with people. Some looked peachy, some looked gloomy and others looked sick. I tore my gaze from them and saw a group of people leaving through a glass door of which I understood led to the exit.
I caught up with them and found my way outside. As I got down the few flights of stairs, I was hit by the heavy downpour of rain. I halted and let the rain fall on me.
It was my first rain.
The first rain I could see and feel. Tilting my head upwards, I opened my arms wide like a child expectant of a hug, shut my eyes and welcomed the rain. It seemed to calm me down.
I had always imagined how it felt like to be kissed in the rain. That was a fantasy I had buried deep down in my heart but it crept into my mind this time. I imagined Jason's lips on mine, his arms, wrapped around me, pulling me closer and steadying me because my knees would definitely go weak. I imagined us both with our eyes shut, my hands finding their around his neck as my fingers played with his soft, fluffy hair while the rain mingled with our skin and created a rhythm that only we both could understand. I'd kiss him and forget about the world around me because all that would matter right there was my Love and I.
I had a lump in my throat as I tumbled down to reality where I was the only one in the heavy rain which seemed to get heavier. My clothes, soggy and drenched, clung to me like a second skin and my hair fanned my face.