What Still Haunts Us?

I felt overwhelmed by a wave of fear and anxiety when I heard the concern in my cousin’s voice. I couldn’t shake the feeling of being trapped—like I was caught in a web I couldn’t escape from. It made me shift uncomfortably in my seat, and without much thought, I tried to hide behind my hood, scanning my surroundings to see if anyone was watching us.

My eyes returned to him when I heard him sigh.

“Damn it, Chris. Why did you hide this from me? Haven’t I proven you can trust me?” he asked, his voice thick with frustration. I shrugged, trying to play it off.

“It’s nothing, okay? Just those damn nightmares again,” I said, attempting to sound calm. But he wasn’t buying it.

“And those damn nightmares are exactly what triggered the attack, right?” he pressed, his gaze intense. A faint, nervous smile tugged at his lips after scolding me, but I could still see the worry in his eyes.

This was exactly why I didn’t want to talk about it. He already treated me like a kid, and this would only make him worry about me even more for days.

“Chris, please don’t shut me out,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “You have to understand—you can’t keep Grandma and me in the dark about this.”

I felt irritation flare up inside me.

“I told you, it’s nothing,” I muttered, avoiding his eyes. “You can see I’m fine now, right?”

I clenched my jaw, trying not to sound harsh. I knew he was upset—and worried—but I didn’t think it was worth bringing up.

Yeah, the nightmares coming back had shaken me, and now I was confused… but I didn’t want anyone else getting involved. This was my problem. I would handle it.

“I don’t want you trying to fix everything for me.”

He leaned closer.

“Tell me the truth, Chris…” he said, his voice low and urgent. “Is that why you’ve been acting so strange?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, avoiding Josh’s gaze. He stayed quiet for a long moment, and I could see the hesitation in his eyes.

“You know exactly what I mean, Chris. You’re barely sleeping, you hardly eat at lunch. You barely talk to me. You’re pulling away—shutting down again.”

I swallowed hard and, like a coward, looked away, covering my face with my hands. I knew what he meant. And I knew that sooner or later, I’d have to face it. It hurt to realize I’d worried him again.

That wasn’t my intention. I’ve tried to be stronger, more present… but lately, I feel strange around people. Sometimes I just can’t stand it—it’s like their presence makes me sick.

Josh moved closer.

“Chris, please. I just want to help,” he said.

I shook my head.

“How can you help me? The nightmares are always about them—about what happened to Nathan. They’re memories… How can you help with that when it’s already a part of me?”

Josh didn’t answer, but the way he looked at me hit harder than a thousand lectures.

“That’s not even what worries me,” I continued. “It’s the fact that I don’t know how to get over it—and I never will. I was there. I… I saw everything.”

Josh’s expression shifted, guilt flashing across his face.

It’s been ten years… We were at a party in a large estate near a forest in Arizona. No one knows what happened. No one saw the kids leave the party. We searched for hours—and when we finally went into the woods… we found something that changed our lives forever.

It was them… They were torn apart. Something—or someone—had attacked them and left their remains scattered everywhere. We were seven years old.

Since then… I’ve had nightmares about him. Since then… everything has gone wrong for me.

But what I can’t understand is the other dreams.

Why do I dream about that burning house? Why do I dream about a baby I don’t know? Why… do I dream about that winged creature?

The sound of Josh’s plastic fork snapping pulled me back to the present.

“Bro, I know you hate it, but… have you thought about seeing your doctor again?”

I scoffed, shaking my head.

“I don’t know why they’re happening again,” I said, “but I don’t think it means I’m relapsing.”

Josh looked at me seriously.

“I didn’t say that. I just wanted to know if—”

“If I’m losing my mind again, right?” I cut in.

His expression darkened, the blue in his eyes turning sharper.

“Chris… that’s enough. You know we’re saying this for your own good—not because we believe that about you.”

I sighed, trying to calm down. I needed to stop reacting like this. He was just trying to help—he didn’t deserve this.

“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry, Chris.”

“I know you are—but don’t apologize for that,” I said, trying to pull myself together, though the knot in my throat remained.

With Josh, I no longer felt embarrassed reacting like this. He had seen enough to understand. Still… I didn’t want him realizing just how weak I still was.

“And you’re a freak,” he said, managing to pull a smile out of me.

The bell rang for the next class, and we stood up.

He grabs my shoulder before we can move.

“Hey… take it easy, okay? We just don’t want you going through what happened before.”

“Trust me, I’m fine.”

He studies me for a few seconds before finally nodding.

“Chris, what happened was a long time ago. You need to focus on the present. You need to move on. I know you can—you just have to stop obsessing over the past.”

I nod, letting out a long, tired sigh.

Maybe that’s all it is. Maybe it’s just my damaged mind creating worst-case scenarios. I need to ignore it. They’re just dreams. They can’t hurt me.

“Come on, let’s get to class… or the only thing you’ll really have to fear is an angry Mr. Rodriguez.”

He manages to make me laugh, and then pulls me along toward the classroom.



After school, Josh insisted I go with him to our friend Marcus’s place. They had a project due, and he’d promised to bring him today’s notes.