Chapter 2

"Hi, Jacob." she sounded calm.
"Hi, Darla."

Her body tried to relax. She dropped her shoulders, took a deep breath, and weighed what she wanted to say.

"Whenever you want."

I tensed my body, straightened up, and crossed my arms with a confidence I didn’t really feel.

"I packec my things this morning", she confessed.

I nodded.

"Then why did you come on your own?"

I slipped my hands into my pockets, trying to look innocent and insecure — the opposite of my failed attempt a moment before.
My body relaxed when she realized I was just as uncomfortable as she was.

"I didn't want to come with you."

“I don’t believe you.”
My voice sounded too sharp to be fake.

“I didn’t want to be annoying to Sabrina.”

She was lying.

“Stop pleasing people,” I said, a little louder.

She took a deep breath.

“Pleasing who?”

Was she confessing her love to me, or still lying?

I shouted her name.

“Why are you lying all the time?”

She bit her lip and tried to interrupt me.

“I don’t need your answer. That was a rhetorical question.”

She crossed her arms.

“I know Sabrina isn’t a good partner. But haven’t you made any mistakes too?”

I didn’t look into her eyes. I knew she wanted to cry, but at that moment I had to be the older brother.

“You’re harsh. You’re stubborn. You’re demanding,” I snapped.
“Is that why you’re not with me?” — I was about to explode.

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!”

I looked at her and saw a tear sliding down her face.

Caleb arrived as fast as he could and opened the door with a stiff, angry movement.

Shit.

“If you yell at Darla one more time, you won’t survive tonight.”

“No. The ones who won’t survive tonight are both of you if Darla keeps thinking she has to please everyone.”

“Darla?” said the brown-haired boy who had been with us.
“Is that true?”

“And what about you, Jacob?!”

“About me?” I laughed. “I’m not doing this alone.”

“Then who’s with you?”

Guess.

“Oh. I’m with you. You’re counting on me!”

Uff. Relief.

“And are you doing this alone, Darla? Because I know you’re strong… but you also forget yourself.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

“Maybe I don’t love you in the way you want,” I pronounced.
That also hurt to me.
“But I promise you’ll be okay.”

Her tight lips curved slightly.

I took her face in my hands and looked straight into her honey-colored eyes.

“I swear this is the best way I know how to love you.”

I felt Caleb’s silent euphoria a few meters behind us.

I stepped back. Darla’s face was soaked with tears.

“Are you okay? Why are you crying now?”

“It’s just emotion. I’m okay.”

I had no idea.

I hated it when Darla tried to control everything — because I always lost control myself.
Darla was, is, and will always be the person who’s there for everyone. Never for herself.

When I met her two years ago, she was already helping me with Sabrina. Always.
I had broken up with Sabrina for the first time back then. Darla empathized with me while forgetting herself. I tried to avoid her — a huge, stupid mistake.

I don’t want to know, but sometimes I’ve noticed marks on her arms and legs.
She once told me she’d been bullied in high school.
Even now, imagining her with something sharp makes me nauseous.
And something inside me keeps screaming that it’s my fault.

Darla was sweet, happy, and warm. She was always making others laugh.
Thinking about the weight she carried on her back felt wrong — inhuman.

When I was younger, I was afraid to tell her “I love you.”
Later, I realized that was the only thing she ever needed — even if it was obvious to me.

What confused her the most was the sex we used to have until a few months ago.
Crazy.

I also knew she compared herself to Sabrina because of it.
She loved literature and poetry, and she used to say she treated my body better than Sabrina ever did.
It was true — and it was the reason I stayed with Sabrina instead of her.

I wasn’t good for Darla.

If I had understood that earlier, Darla would still be my closest friend — not just an informal ex.

Shit.