Sweet Delia and Her Seventy-Nine Sour Secrets

1) By the age of eight, Delia York knew how to get inside things — not just the hearts of angels, but also the minds of grown-up boys, who would later refer to it as their 'awakening'.

2) The director told the actress playing Delia: "Play it innocent." She replied, "I am innocent... especially in the very spot you're planning your close-up on."

3) In the chapel, Delia wasn't just admiring the cross — she was checking how sharp the demon's sword was.

4) You know why the film Omen IV: The Awakening has so many close-ups of Delia’s eyes? Because the cameraman couldn't take his lens off them.

5) Delia didn't just say her bedtime prayers — she was testing how deep the nightmares could go.

6) She never asked for birthday gifts. She would just whisper, "I want you to serve me... until midnight."

7) Her mother, Karen York, found an entry in her diary: "Today the teacher asked for a volunteer. I said I'm always ready... especially for one-on-one lessons."

8) Meanwhile, her father, Gene York, noticed that ever since Delia started elementary school, all the men in the building had developed a strange... problem with their trousers.

9) Delia didn't just love the swings in the yard. She knew: the higher you fly, the more you can see from under a skirt. And she never hid a thing. Especially from the holy fathers.

10) In the school library, she asked for an anatomy book. The librarian blushed and said, "You're too young for that!" Delia smiled, "But are you old enough to show me everything?"

11) In shop class, she made her dad a present — a little wooden box. On the inside of the lid, she carved: "I'll only open for whoever gets in first."

12) In Sunday school, Delia wasn't just drawing — she was leaving her wet fingerprints on the pews after the lesson on Holy Communion.

13) Her dad asked why the neighbor's boy ran off screaming, "She said I'd fit!" Delia just smiled, "I only suggested we play doctor... to completion."

14) Delia wasn't just reading the Book of Revelation — she was underlining every passage about "the bloody awakening of the flesh" in the chapter on the Whore of Babylon.

15) During swimming lessons at the pool, she never took her swimsuit off — yet, for some reason, all the boys were convinced it had just slipped.

16) During confession, she whispered to the priest, "I sin... especially when I think about you punishing me."

17) Delia didn't just bring flowers home — she'd pick the ones with the longest stems and ask her dad, "Do you get this hard when you see me, too?"

18) The kindergarten teacher noticed all the boys came back from the playground with dirty trousers — and Delia was always there, saying, "I just taught them how to dig deeper."

19) Delia didn't just eat in the kitchen — she'd lean over so low that all the male servants could get a perfect view of what was under her skirt.

20) That evening, when Delia went to bed, her parents were puzzled: for some reason, her bed seemed to have a lot of extra space.

21) Her father noticed that ever since Delia was adopted, all the condoms in the house started mysteriously disappearing. Even from the locked cabinet.

22) Delia didn't just sit on her father's lap — she'd whisper, "You do want to be my first, don't you?" and press against the spot where things were starting to grow.

23) Her mother found a note under Delia's pillow: "I wish daddy would 'punish' me for being bad... especially if he's not wearing any pants."

24) In the York family portrait, Delia stands in the center. Everyone's looking at the camera — while her little hand snakes its way toward her father's belt... and is just about to reach the zipper.

25) Delia didn't just pretend to sleep on her father's lap at the clinic — she lay in such a way that her skirt would slowly ride up, revealing to the passing gynecologists what they really shouldn't have been seeing.

26) Seeing a bowl of egg-shaped candies on the table, she said, "The holiday's coming soon, and I'll need someone big to put his big... in me," then froze, noticing her father in the room.

27) Delia didn't just bring her father his morning tea — she'd serve it to him in bed, straddling his thigh and whispering, "I can be hot, too... if you'd like a taste."

28) When her mom asked why dad had started locking himself in the shower so often, Delia answered, "He's practicing — I told him I like it to last."

29) At a family dinner, she told her mom in front of everyone: "You know why I always ask you to buy me black tights? So it's easier for daddy to imagine... me without them."

30) Delia didn't just call her father into her room — she'd say, "Come in to punish me... and stay until I say 'enough'."

31) Seeing her dad burn his finger while fixing a lamp, Delia asked, "Does yours get that hot when you look at me?" — and instantly put on an innocent face.

32) For her birthday, she asked her father for just one gift, in front of everyone: "I want you to put something under my pillow. Not candy... but something big and hot."

33) Delia wasn't just sucking a lollipop in the kitchen — she'd do it slowly, staring at her dad and whispering, "Do you want a taste, too? I take it... very deep."

34) When her mom found an empty mayonnaise jar and stains on the nightstand, Delia just smiled, "I didn't eat it. I was just practicing... for daddy's 'special sauce'."

35) For breakfast, she offered her dad a tube of vanilla cream: "Here, you do have a sweet tooth, right? Just be careful — I've already spread it all around inside."

36) Delia wasn't just licking a spoonful of thick cream — she'd do it in slow motion, whispering, "Daddy says I have to be neat... especially when I don't spill a drop."

37) When her dad asked why she kept sneaking into his closet at night, Delia smiled, "Looking for your darkest secret... but so far I've only found my panties with your drool on them."