Just the honey from your eyes II.

I could not believe it, I felt like my heart was going to a thousand when he told me that, if only I knew that he is more beautiful than these terribly horrible eyes what am I talking about? My eyes are beautiful but not compared to what he was, he was handsome, beautiful, beautiful, attractive... I just couldn't find a better way to describe it than that, it was a perfect creature before my eyes... I wanted it more and more, although I knew it would make it impossible for me to have it, because I was not the only one who wanted to have it, but nobody wanted more than me, nobody soñab with him more than I did, nobody was more indicated than me to be with him , nobody, absolutely no one.

At that very moment I could not say anything, I could not, did not give me the courage to answer, I felt the luckiest person in the world because he, the person who came to me removing the vermel and made me sigh told me that he had a beautiful eye; I felt as my body was dying slowly as it came to mind as I looked so placidly, felt the warmth of his gaze and could swear that he felt something strange coming from his soul, that strange feeling what will it be? I don't understand why I felt this, it's weird coming from someone like him hiding that beautiful creature?

Since that day I stay all and time looking at him when he leaves his department to exercise and I see how he behaves in front of the girls looking for him, he still behaves weird to be with those girls, it's not something like feeling uncomfortable, it's more like it looks like the  Girls, tends to behave like them, to speak like them, I had never realized it, but I think cute and tender when he starts to make those gestures that have something good, it is spectacular better said, I like and I regret many things , it makes me want to see it all the time, listen to it, admire it, just have it next to me and be able to say that all of it is mine, only mine.

I swear by all the most beautiful in this world that loved and adored to look at it, was all I needed at that time to be happy, he and only he made me feel so with just being in the distance seeing him, he knew I existed but I did not take much into account , I always went out with him to  "Go somewhere " Actually if I went out to read a book but in reality most of the time I spent admiring it, with the desire in the mind to speak to me or just look at me but nothing more than that... That hurt and too much, but I never noticed.

So I did over the days, I only stayed in the distance knowing when he entered or left his apartment, either alone or accompanied; Every time I heard more steps besides yours I can assure you that it hurt me in the depths of my whole being, it was something that invadinged my heart, it felt as if I was unfaithful even if I knew that neither I was his nor he mine.

And it was so until a certain day, there was a day when I felt that I arrived much later than usual to his department, just thought I was because I train too much, because he liked to do all kinds of exercise... But it wasn't like I thought, since every day I started to arrive later than the previous one, I arrived a day when I arrived for lunch, I did not understand what was happening, I just know that I was worrying about him because what if something bad was going on? If you were scamming him? Although I kept away from him, the feeling of concern was present, I tried to stop thinking about worrying about him, but his image being beaten broke me in a thousand, I was no one to ask him about his private life, so I could only stay from Far imagining the things that could happen, I imagined the worst, I could not stand, I spent the nights crying until I arrived as I never stopped my thoughts...

I reached such a point of concern that I could no longer or I would die instead of him, so I followed him, I followed him without even having a plan, I didn't know what I would do if I saw a barbaric act, I was doing something stupid for just listening to my heart and I knew it too much , but only could not more, I wanted him alive and not dead...

I have no word to be able to describe what I saw when I got to that besieged was he here on his own? Did he denigrates himself in a place like this? Is it okay for me to be here? What will you think of me if you see me here too? Fuck I wish that for once in my life my mind would stop thinking so much and just do what I ask... If I thought that place on the outside was crazy then to see inside I got the heart of the chest, was the person for whom I had so much worried woman dress, wearing only lace lingerie dancing in a had while the men who was There they were groping him, giving him money and shouting obscenities; I couldn't stand it, I hated it, I just wanted to get away from that place with him by my side.

When we could cross looks could say everything with just a few seconds, I was afraid, I was terrified, not for the people who were paying, but for me, I was afraid to tell that I worked in this kind of place, I find it disgusting to only be afraid of that , I hated him at that very moment; I just left that place so filthy and depraved, I could not see more in that situation, at that time I loved him but hated him so much, I wanted to kill him... That sounded a little voice in my head and why don't you? You've killed before, he's no different than the rest that are no longer among us, just do it.

I couldn't kill him in that same place as since I started doing it I said to myself that I would never let me see other people doing what I did, so I had no other option to wait any longer to be able to plan and do something that will not call both the attention of P People... But this time it was different from the others, I have never had problems to devise elaborate plans and to carry them out, but this time I felt that I could not think, the anger that I felt inside I consumed, when I felt disgust towards people I simply left them Pass and then I do what my mind machine, but he had me mad, mad and thirsty with blood and pain, he wanted me to suffer so he would know that what he does is not right, he always lets himself see how a decent guy like a fourth , but the truth is this crap I saw today.