We both stand looking at each other dumb folded.
Everything comes rushing back to me.
He mocks, "You are insecure about every aspect of yourself. I can see it. I can see right through your big act. You act like you haven't fallen for me, but you have! I can see it in your face. I've won Alexander. I've won and you've lost! Isn't it sad? I even had to pay for your college fees that quite sad isn't it? You feel so angry for whoever that girl is because you know that you became the same thing! Another notch in my belt!"
His words he said the last time I saw him still haunt me. They still sting, and the saying "Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but your words may never hurt me" comes to mind. Whoever made up that saying was an idiot. The words said to me a few months ago still hurt. They still sting, because they make me realise once again, that actually, I was used by him, and I was cheated on by Devin. He cheated on me, and Dylan used me.
Dylan's eyes stare into mine intently. It's like he can see right through me. He can read my mind, but I brush off the feeling and give him a smile. I make it seem like I'm happy, that I have everything together and I smile, trying to hide it, and no matter how forced it is, I make sure that outwardly, it looks like I'm happy.
"Can I, uh-, I speak to you Alex?" He asks softly. It like he thinks the softer his voice goes, the less it will hurt me. Despite my better judgement and the warning my brain is screaming at me to listen to, I decide to follow my heart just this once, and I give him a quick nod. He smiles, genuinely it seems, but, to be honest, I don't really know what genuine is anymore.
Instead, Dylan leads me away from the business of the ballroom, because that's exactly what it looks like, out into the cool evening air. Silence follows for an eternity, but he wonders off into the distance for a while. I stand still, unsure as to what to do, but I leave him be. He looks at me and tilts his head slightly. Ordering me to come. My feet move on their own accord, and soon, I am standing right next to my ex-boss.
"Alex." He whispers. I tilt my head slightly as to acknowledge him. I haven't said a word to him, I realise now, this entire evening.
"I'm sorry." He says simply. I can't tell if it's genuine or not. I narrow my eyes, but he continues, "I'm sorry for letting you down Alex and for saying those things. I was so angry, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I said them. I'm sorry."
I sigh softly, hoping he doesn't hear. He studies me. My facial expressions. "Say something." He begs, "Please." He whispers.
"Okay." I say simply. I don't really know what else to say.
"Okay? Okay what?" He pleads for me to elaborate.
"It feels as though I have a thousand things I want to say, but I can't put them into words. I can't express them, because I don't know how to." I admit. His eyes flicker across my face.
"Say the thing you are thinking right now, in this moment." He suggests. I nod.
"Did you mean them? The words?" I ask.
"No. No even a little. I was just so angry, at myself, at you, at him, your fiancé." He admits.
"They were true though." I state, and study his handsome face. He shakes his head.
"No they weren't." He argues and he looks at my face. "You doubt me Alex. I let you down. I know I did and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He admits. I'm silent as I stare at him.
"I'm sorry too. The words I said-" I start, but Dylan cuts me off.
"You saw right through me Alex. No girl has ever done that before. You made a fool out of me, and I was so angry, at myself mainly. You could see right through my act." He admits to me quietly. I'm shocked. I'm shocked at him and at his acceptance, and the fact that he admitted it.
"We both say things in our anger. They held truth in them, and some were just overly exaggerated, but really, I am a smalltime country girl." I smile.
"That you are."
"And I can't afford college, and my fiancé cheated on me, and I'm alone and miserable and that's why I ca-" I start, but Dylan's lips crash onto mine.
Shock and surprise, and I hate to admit it, but even a bit of delight mark my feelings, and I sink into the kiss. He pulls me a little closer, his hands rest on my back, and my hands move slightly from his shoulders onto his hair. I smile as we kiss a little, and I can feel him smile. Eventually, we pull away, breathless.
"Forgiven?" He whispers.
"Forgiven." I smile. "Forgiven?" I ask now.
"What for?" He answers and I laugh a little. We rest our foreheads against each other's.
We eventually move away, but he still puts his arm around me and pulls me close.
"I'm sorry about Devin. I still wanted you, this much I know, but if he made you happy, I could live with that, as long as you were happy I could live with that. It would kill me inside, but I want you to be happy, Alex." He rubs my back affectionately.
"I'm glad I found out before we got... married." I state, venom drilling from the word, and shake my head sadly. He stops suddenly.
"I don't see how a man could cheat on you. You deserve so much better, and I realised that I never deserved you, so I had to find a way to hurt you, and I used another girl to do so. I never should've done that, but I want you to know that as of now, I am a one girl man. You are the girl I thought I couldn't have. I don't deserve you and who you are. Alex, you changed me. You changed the player, because I realised the one girl I actually truly wanted, was the one girl I couldn't have. The one girl I didn't deserve to have." He stokes my cheek, and suddenly, everything, all my emotions decide to catch up with me and tears start streaming down my face.