CHAPTER 17. THE RAILROAD

April 17, 2021.

I was part of a truly endless funeral procession—at that moment, they were burying Prince Philip, the husband of Elizabeth II: in its limitedness, the street resembled the banks of a river or a railroad, and the people who filled it—a river or a train. I was a kind of component of this flow, which consisted not only of emotions of sorrow, sadness, and grief—of course, for one and the same event, people in our world can experience different emotions: some suffer and have come to pay tribute to the deceased, while others rejoice and have come to witness this "triumph," this "celebration" of death firsthand. Suddenly, in a single moment, in that crowd, I turned my attention to a certain elderly man who, with the mystery of a sphinx, smiled at me and immediately, with a gesture, commanded me to follow him: having broken away from the identical links of this truly endless chain, we, silently crossing several blocks—he in front, and I behind him, he the pursued, and I the pursuer, he the victim of my curiosity, and I the predator—stopped in the middle of a now deserted street, where he hastily broke the silence that hung over us with the following words:

“I was able to discern in your eyes what I have been looking for in the crowd and among gatherings of people for many months... Do you wish to know this world, to fully realize the truth, such as it is, without lies, without cunning, without exaggerations and understatements?” His frantically trembling hands instantly reached for the inner pocket of his light jacket: the first thought that appeared in my mind was directly associated with drugs... the next with my being robbed or killed... trembling hands... crazy speeches... what would he pull out of his pocket?.. a syringe, a packet, a knife, or a pistol? “I understand my words confuse you, but... I will soon leave this world! I feel it... I feel the nearness of death... and that's why I am in such a hurry to find someone in whom my ideas will be continued... in whom they will exist. I spent my entire life teaching people... for a long period of time I worked as a professor of philosophy at a well-known university... until old age forced me to lose this truly earthly refuge... That's when I entered the essence of gloom and darkness, but... I looked for a way out and found it in you: like a reptile, I often crawled out of the depths of this gloomy cave... and in the end I found what I wanted!.. You probably initially took me for a robber, a murderer, or a drug dealer—all the better, for you are already close to the truth... because philosophy is nothing more than a metaphysical narcotic, capable of immersing a person in truly unique states... Here, take this envelope and read my last work in this world... It's amazing!.. It would seem that the ingredients in writing are the same for everyone, words and ink... but if all the ingredients of a dish are laid out on a plate in the shape of a smile, they can improve our mood, while not changing their essence or nature in the slightest, remaining the same as before... In this work, you will not find a love drama or a description of human beauty—it is about something else... I do not write about what easily and quickly loses its properties... to become Miss Universe, you need beauty, but this is an extremely perishable commodity, while the works of Nobel laureates will never become outdated, for content is above form, the soul is above the flesh, and the metaphysical is above the physical... He who marries Miss Universe will live with an ordinary woman five years later, but he who marries a Nobel laureate lives with one until the end of his days... Farewell, newborn adept... May knowledge become your light and tear the chains of the darkness of ignorance—behold and see!”

Disappearing as suddenly as he appeared in my life, this elderly man left me alone with my thoughts—slowly returning home, I found a manuscript with the following content in that envelope:

The Railroad

The Argument of the "Civilized" Man

“We, those whom you, Indians, call pale-faces, have come to you today with a proposal to stop the bloodshed—you constantly attack our brethren who are laying a railroad through this prairie: you kill us, and we kill you. This process is cyclical, like the ouroboros. I, however, propose that you break it—why should a snake eat itself? Each of us in this world has our own truth—I am perfectly aware of this: you believe that we are invading your wild and secluded life among the prairies, while we believe that you are hindering the development of our civilization, one of the key factors of whose prosperity is the implementation and improvement of our living conditions. On whose side is the objective truth? Which of us is more right? History dictates that the strongest win, but does this in any way affect the objective truth? The strong rewrite history and make those who fought for their own truth their enemies. Your truth is a lie and a delusion for us, the strongest. You do not wish to comprehend the higher values of this world, and therein lies your tragedy... and do not say that you can have other values! This is the difficulty of our world! Why should we take the easy way—the way of destroying your tribe? We, the people of civilization, are accustomed to eliminating problems with conversation, problems that you eliminate with the help of the axe of war!.. we, the children of civilization, are what we are—we are guided not by ardent feeling and instincts, but by pragmatic thoughts and consciousness... You have lost! The firewood in this fire is burning out, but at the end, as if unwilling to accept its fate, you crackle with great dissatisfaction and resonance! Our civilization, the civilization of knowledge and enlightenment, is paving its way through leaden clouds of ignorance, just as this railroad is paving its way through this wild prairie! You call this railroad a path that leads to hell, for fire-breathing demons wander along it—but this path brings enlightenment and civilization, medicines, food, and a new life: is enlightenment and civilization truly hell for you? The fact that you are blind allows us to be even more conscious and seeing! To be a chief among you means to be a nobody among us—your richest people will be beggars in our world, because for you knowledge is nothing, but power is everything! And so, do not call us with your actions... he who calls demons must be ready for a tormenting death. Unlike you, we comprehend this world in its depths and heights; we do not try to explain everything with the help of an invisible spirit, and our gods are needed for us for something completely different than yours are for you—we come to our gods in days of anguish, sadness, and despondency, while you thank them for every day, for every sip of water, and every piece of food: this is not accepted among us, for our gods are our psychologists, and not our benefactors and friends... Those very stars that you observe and admire, passing on knowledge about them to your children and grandchildren, have long since been on the pages of our books and canvases—we will not allow you to slow down the process of our development, for the attempt to do so is the highest crime against civilization: if it does not develop and spread its ideals, it will perish, and every living thing is ready to fight for its life to the end—such are the laws of living nature!.. Where you see rocky mountains, we see golden sand, because we are able to look into the depths of phenomena and processes...”