Chapter 20: The Refuge of Wood and Wine

All the way to Ethan's cabin we were holding hands. We did not do it as a consolidated couple that walks with the weight of romance, but as a mutual support. At that exact point in our lives, we both needed firm ground support, a physical reminder that what we were experiencing was real and that we hadn't been frozen in the pain of the past.

As I crossed the threshold of his cabin, the environment greeted me with a clear identity. You could tell right away that it was a lonely man's space, but enveloped in a woody, clean, and deeply welcoming scent. Despite his loneliness, there was an intoxicating touch in the air that smelled of home, a warmth that invited him to stay. I went out for a moment to his terrace and there it was: the mechanism of the homemade zip line, his books resting on a small table and the typical torch that guided my gaze every night. I laughed alone at his wit, silently grateful for that small detail that had brought more than one smile to my sleepless nights.

Ethan interrupted my thoughts as he returned from the kitchen. He excitedly announced that he had fresh vegetables, meat to prepare, fruits for dessert and, of course, the inevitable bottle of wine to accompany the night.

He put on his apron and began to seal the meat in the pan. As the oil sizzled, he turned to me and threw a casual question:

"Astrid, is there anything you don't like to eat or do you suffer from an allergy?"

That simple question froze the air in my lungs. In a second, a flurry of bitter memories dragged me back fifteen years. Throughout my marriage, Anthony never bothered to ask me what I liked, what I hated, or what my illnesses were. I cooked for their whims, took care of their discomforts and molded myself to their existence, erasing myself from the map. Again, reality gave me a clean slap: I was never important to someone who was everything to me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, looked him in the eye, and returned the same question. Ethan smiled, oblivious to the earthquake he had just caused inside me, and replied simply that he ate absolutely everything.