Chapter I

“When you are born to be a failure, no matter how hard you try, you will never stop being a failure.”

That is the motto of my life, I am not exaggerating, let's see when I was born many years ago, I will not say how many, but it is many, well enough, I have already deviated from the story, the thing is that the day I was born the next day my mother died before they say it was my fault, no, it was not me, the day I was born, mom found out that dad had a lover, her pain was so great that she decided to end her life, her sadness was stronger than her motherhood, as a consequence dad took care of my older sister and me.

From that moment on, my life was marked, first by the loss of my mother, and second by the name—I mean! Who in the world could possibly call me Secundina? And my last name was García Anguamea. If that's alright, I'll give you permission to laugh. Even I laugh at my misfortune. Well, let's continue. My father, in an act of repentance, decided to remain a decent widower. He never married, and whenever he introduced himself, he would say García, the widower of Anguamea. As I realized, I kept calling him a "ridiculous old man."

As I was saying there, my life was marked forever, in elementary school there were the six most tragicomic years of my life, those damn Mother's Day festivals, I really came to hate them, for eleven months I was happy, it was only when May came that my torture began, from the television commercials to the school activities, that month both Dulce and I would get sick, although Dad knew very well that it wasn't like that, he covered for us during that month, I don't know why but that month hurt a lot, neither the date of his death nor Christmas hurt as much as the month of May, six years passed and finally high school, yes! High school, without a doubt the best time of my life, I would live it again just as I lived it, although at that time they broke my heart, like any good teenage high school girl, my body changed, but not for the better, in fact I'm still waiting for the duck to turn into a swan, my 1.75 helped a lot, yes, yes, being one of the tall ones, with care and training by the second semester I was already a member of the basketball team and not on the bench, no, one of the officials, and that's how I met the love of my life or so I thought, how could I not? If he was the tallest in school, stocky, dark brown hair, honey-colored eyes and his way of playing basketball stole my heart, tremendous disappointment when he told me that he would never, ever go out with someone like me, ugly, fat and dumb, that is to say not at all intelligent, with the little dignity that I had left I collected the fragments of my tender heart, I tried to put them together, really yes, but I never could no matter how hard I tried, it also didn't help much that in high school Damián told me that he would never go out with a woman so tall and that she was a shot put champion. What is my fault that he was 1 sixty-five? And what was my fault that I was good at sports? I say there must have been something funny about it, right? If I wasn't pretty or intelligent at this point in my life, at seventeen I hated my fatness and my height and before you criticize me and say nutritionist, exercise, etc., etc., etc., I tell you that I ran two kilometers a day, walked fifteen kilometers, I had a good diet, but I was never able to lose weight. I suppose that was already my physical build, but my adolescent self never understood it and to be frank, neither did my adult self.

Elian's passion

What I had as a good athlete, I had bad in love, so resigned to the fact that this field was not my thing, II concentratedin continuing with my training in both basketball and shot put, even going to the nationals and belonging to the official team of my city and my state with pride I can say that I belonged to the red wave, at the University things did not change that much, with my sports history I tried out for the basketball team of the Faculty of Nursing and Nutrition of course and as expected I was among the starters, things changed when the selection for the official team of the University was made, there I was left on the bench I was player number eight but I did not care it was from Las Adelitas for me it was too much, between training, classes I did not have time to think about love, anyway Mr. love and I do not get along well.

One day I was very comfortable doing a difficult anatomy homework when a classmate sat next to me, of course I didn't pay attention, believe me when I say that my peripheral nervous system had all my concentration, you will understand my astonishment when the boy in front of me said: "you are the prettiest girl in the entire faculty", I looked up, I don't know what look I gave him that I saw as he backed away, but I remember well that I grabbed my things and got up from the seat, but not before saying "go make fun of your fucking bitch mother", the next day half the faculty was astonished because I said that to Prudencio who by the way was a model, drummer of his rock band and studied nutrition, but come on. Who can blame me for not believing in her words? Or yes, since you already know that I am “tall” and fat, white, big eyes without exaggeration dark brown color, wavy dark brown hair, straight nose, full lips and natural eyeliner, yes, my lips and my eyes were my greatest pride, as I said fat but not pretty, yes, you know, the ones with a defined waist, good chest and good buttocks, no, rather I was or am like a round, flat cylinder with concave curves, yes, that's how I am, now that I think about it I think the only beautiful thing about me was or is my face. let's continue, with great difficulty and after four years I finally finished my Bachelor's Degree in Nursing, from there to my internship year, practically being a slave to the base staff and I have to say that that year was a good year, I think it is the second best thing that has happened to me and I would live it again.