Chapter 27. The Dark Forest.

March 27, 1945

Darkness surrounded us. Every step we took was directed into the unknown, into the gloom, but we could not help but go, for such was our destiny. As we delved further and further into the abyss of darkness, we had no idea how much further we had to go to achieve the military objectives predetermined for us by a will more powerful than our own. We, two soldiers of the U.S. 20th Army Corps, myself, George McGee, and my comrade-in-arms, Emil Lawson, were in the depths of a dark forest at the foot of Wiesbaden. We could not see each other's eyes, mouths, or facial expressions, yet we continuously, with the help of silence, held a dialogue of profound emotionality and sacredness between our souls and hearts. Moving and advancing in this darkness almost imperceptibly to the human ear, we seemed to be like some kind of forest spirits. How terribly mistaken we were, not at all understanding that we were just ordinary, unremarkable people! The chaotically sharp and rough forest matter sometimes left its imprints on our faces and hands. These scratches were shallow compared to those that our feelings left in our hearts and our thoughts in our minds.

I, John McGee, and twenty-four-year-old Emil Lawson, at this moment, utterly despised the human form, human flesh, and human appearance that belonged to us. It is just matter, and what's more, it is not perfect. The officers, who had no idea of the scale of the historical events now taking place before their eyes, thought no better of our flesh. They sent us to certain death with extreme pragmatism, mercenary motives, and cruelty. For a few grams of iron badges that would adorn their uniforms among an extraordinarily exquisite, but blind, audience, they were ready to destroy thousands, hundreds of thousands of naive people, guilty of nothing but their choices, including their right to vote.

Being only a few inches from the damp earth of Wiesbaden, continuously inhaling its tart and seemingly completely lifelessly fragrant scent, my nature most directly and deeply comprehends that earthly life is a temporary life. Life after death is the beginning of eternity—let this eternity be in hell or in heaven. In any case, our true, genuine, eternal life begins after death... so is there any point in creating and destroying something here, accumulating wealth, or even continuing one's lineage? We will never be in our descendants. With the loss of physical life, we gain spiritual liberation, and therefore, dependence on everything material. One soul cannot be in two bodies at the same time, just as one tree cannot grow in two different places on the globe...

Many of us here, in the U.S. Army, in Wiesbaden, were here only because that structural unit, the U.S. Army, was able to fully provide them with bread and clothing, even if they had to risk their own lives every day for that bread and clothing. Back on the other continent, in order to provide themselves with food and clothing, they had to work in one way or another, for nothing can arise from nothing. Here, he may risk his own life, but he does not work in the generally accepted sense of the word, unlike those who are there, not exposing their nature to a certain risk, must perform actions of a corresponding kind to satisfy the physical needs of their body... Despite the same military uniform, we are not equal, and this must be admitted. Some of us have more influence and power, and some have less. Our weapons are the same, and so are our uniforms...

A flash of light! The dark forest became bright for a few seconds. Our opponents' shells tore the veil of gloom that prevailed here for a few seconds. Despite the fact that these shells bring death, at the same time they also bring light. This cannot be denied, for these are natural physical laws. This world is truly paradoxical in its unambiguous certainty!... Not everything good in this world brings light—not everything that brings light is good! For a few seconds, at the moment of the flash of light, it seemed to us as if we understood where we needed to go, and so we oriented our goals in accordance with the circumstances and conditions surrounding us. I say oriented, but not defined, for a few seconds are not capable of defining very intricate tasks and settings...

Darkness! Are all of us, people, who for some reason are now fighting each other within the limits of this planet, not now in darkness? Is our path known to us, if every minute we destroy hundreds, thousands of our own kind? Is the true voice of man moving us in these moments—a voice in which the notes of our Creator's voice passionately flow in motley streams? Most people do not want to hear it, be guided by it, and, most importantly, believe it. They do not define their own future, and therefore its only principle of movement is willfulness. He who heeds his true nature, his Creator, and therefore he who is able and knows how to see, will certainly, regardless of time and circumstances, regardless of the depth and quality of the darkness that surrounds him at one time or another, always find light, for his path, even if it is temporarily located amidst darkness, is the path of light. But how can one allow the Creator, the Most High, to speak within oneself? For this, it is necessary to comprehend the foundations of the Universe, and also, having fully entrusted oneself to the Almighty, to intuitively listen to all the existing signals, symbols, and signs in your life. The Lord will always send you advice and hints. To see and comprehend them or, due to one's ignorance, not to understand them, to ignore them, not to see them—each specific person makes their own choice...

Every person who is within the limits of war does not have much time... and what's to hide, a desire!... to reflect and reason about war, about its true goals and causes. Here, people think about surviving, filling their stomachs, and finding temporary shelter. Few here are interested in redrawing the political map of the world—not because of their fullness and awareness, but because of their ignorance. No matter how much our rulers want it, they cannot change the true structure of the world—the geographical structure, but by no means the political one. After all, how many states have existed and will exist in the very place where the Tiber flowed and will flow? The Tiber, despite the passage of time, and unlike everything that is built by man, and unlike man himself, always remains the Tiber.