CHAPTER 21. A TRAGICOMEDY.

February 21, 2020.

“As usual, having returned from my post at the appointed time, I began, according to the schedule, to guard the weapons pyramid. From 4 to 6 a.m., I diligently performed my duties in accordance with the post roster and the Garrison and Guard Service Regulations of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, at post 2 of the 3rd shift of guard No. 2. It was a cold morning today—even through my fleece gloves, I could feel the heavy cold of the lifeless metal of the AK-74… What a pleasant feeling it is to take off the body armor with its unusually heavy plates! What a pleasant feeling it is to take the rifle sling off your shoulder—its weight is pressing down, but no less pressing is the burden of responsibility that lies on that sling: it’s as if it speaks of the gravity of the act that I am capable of committing at any given moment! So, at 6:05 a.m., standing by the weapons pyramid, which was next to the guard chief's room and the guard personnel's rest room, I suddenly heard sounds from the rest room that were completely out of place—the guard chief struck the iron leg of the bed several times with his heavy combat boots. The assistant guard chief was on the bed, a conscript who had served six months longer than me, a person with a higher education—he served in the same company as me and didn’t stand out in any special way, in my opinion, except that all the chiefs of all the guards in our brigade desperately wanted him to serve as their assistant whenever it was possible, or rather, provided for by the regulations. Why did they desperately want this? I did not know. Just as I did not know why he had now awakened such, very eloquent in their actions, crude emotions in the guard chief… He was simple in his communication, although he had obtained a higher education in this life, from a law faculty—a kind of follower of the cult of Samuel von Pufendorf and James Wilson—and therefore should have served six months less than me. However, despite this simplicity and ordinariness, there was a certain subtle mystery in him, a certain ethereal secret was felt in him: being neither a lion nor a man, he somewhat resembled a sphinx. Perhaps he seemed simple to me because I was stupid? It’s very likely. To understand complex things, you must first be able to understand simple things!…

‘Come on! Get up quickly! At any minute, the deputy brigade commander, Colonel Gvidetsky, will show up to inspect the guard! Did you forget what day it is? Look at the clock! Get up! Hurry!’ The junior lieutenant said in an extremely loud voice, using words characteristic of the situation and continuing to perform genuinely unfriendly actions toward the sleepy senior soldier.

‘Comrade Junior Lieutenant, inspection! Colonel Gvidetsky has arrived!’ A sudden voice came from the Motorola radio, which was in the guard chief's hand at that hour.

‘Quickly! To your places!’ The guard chief exclaimed to those in the guard who were currently in reserve group No. 1, and then, casting a contemptuous glance at his assistant, said with inexpressible disdain, ‘First I'll get you removed from the guard, then you'll be demoted and sent from the security company to other units, namely to the support company!’

Nothing worse could have been imagined for a truly self-respecting soldier of the security brigade—especially for one who, from the very beginning of his service, had served as a patrol leader and even as an assistant to the guard chief. But our assistant never got up from the bed. He turned to the other side and continued to indulge in such sweet but short rest. Colonel Gvidetsky entered the guard room. Having heard the report from the vestibule, he immediately headed toward me—to the weapons pyramid. I immediately told him what was under my protection at that very moment. Looking me in the eyes, he silently expressed complete satisfaction with the information heard. So, extremely scrupulously and carefully examining all the spaces of the guard room for order, safety, and security, he slowly headed to the guard chief's room to make the appropriate entry in the post log. Order prevailed everywhere in our guard, and Colonel Gvidetsky could not fail to notice this, just as he could not fail to notice a person who, according to the current regulations, was supposed to be awake and responsible for order: the assistant guard chief—the eyes of the deputy brigade commander lit up! Now, facing the post log, he could ask the guard chief the very questions that had arisen in his mind some time before, but about whose existence in his mind he had in no way notified the officer. The guard chief realized that the climax had arrived in this, truly, tragicomedy: his secret was revealed, the guard would be relieved—all because of this stupid, crazy assistant! Memories arose in his mind of how he had entered this soldier’s name to be promoted to senior soldier in the relevant documents. He wanted nothing in the world more than to tear that entry to shreds. And indeed, how could Colonel Gvidetsky not see that there were now many more soldiers sleeping sweetly in the rest room than was appropriate for the schedule?! According to the guard chief's instructions, the assistant should have been on his feet from 6:00 a.m.—now the clock showed 6:20 a.m. It showed the hour when all the dreams of this young officer to build such a successful career should be shattered—to be relieved from the guard is the most indelible disgrace.

‘Junior Lieutenant Fedorchuk! May I inquire where the assistant guard chief is currently, or rather, located?’ The extremely experienced colonel playfully addressed the junior lieutenant.

‘Assistant!’ The guard chief growled with indescribable fury.

A soldier from the awakened shift ran up to the assistant, who was not asleep but still on the bed, and immediately began to persuade him to get up—the guard chief had called for him, with an inspection of which the deputy brigade commander had arrived!