I return to my desk and breathe heavily. Again, I could feel the same taste on his lips which I had last night. He was with Bella last night too and also now. Fuck! You're fucking crazy, Sana! I scold myself. I ignore my instincts again, again I try to prove myself wrong, again I try to run away from the truth that I'm losing him. Yes. I know I'm losing him but I don't wanna accept that. A teardrop falls from my eye.
I'm trying to focus on my work for an hour but I can't. Sana's face is flashing on my mind continuously. Unknown guilt takes over my mind and soul. Am I doing wrong to her? Am I gonna hurt her? Am I gonna break my promise to be with her always? But I can be with her forever. However, will she be ready for this? I can not think of anything right now.
I just know that I can't lose him. As I always said to myself "I don't know what she is to me but she is everything to me.
It was a bad day again. My interview went wrong for the 50th time. I had applied for several jobs during the last 6 months and unfortunately couldn't crack one of them. Right then, Sana hands me a glass of cocktail. I drank the whole glass and sighed.
"What should I prepare for lunch?", she asked me as she took my coat from the sofa and put my shoes in the cabinet next to me.
"Whatever you like", I told her.
She had just moved with me. We were sharing the same house. But not in the same room. Our relationship was limited to make outs and kisses. Though I wanted to have her for a long time, I couldn't earn the guts to ask her for it. No girl had attracted me the way she did. I couldn't help yearning for her. But she had almost taken the whole responsibility on her own. She used to wake me up in the morning, make me my favourite coffee, arrange my clothes, cook for me and everything. Within just a few months, I got used to her, I could do nothing without her, she was always there.
She sat beside me and held my shoulder.
"No problem. You'll crack the second one", she smiled, touching my cheek as I looked at her. She understood that I had again failed to crack a job when I didn't even mention it. She could catch my expressions so well.
"When? I'll be out of my savings next month. How will I survive? I can't ask for money from mom. And I'll never ask for it to dad. He'll be laughing at me", I shrugged.
"Why will he laugh? He is your dad", she says.
"He will. Because I didn't accept his offer to work in his company. He'll be enjoying my failure now as his lovable son Alex has become his heir", I said in a sarcastic tone.
She wrapped my arm with her hands and places her chin on my shoulder.
"You're taking unnecessary stress", she caressed my cheek as I closed my eyes to be relaxed. Her touch on my skin felt amazing every time. It soothed me from the core.
"How can I not be stressed, Sano? I'm gonna run out of money in a few days", I told her.
"I'm with you", she says. "You don't need to worry about money"
I looked at her in surprise and caught her smiling at me. Was she serious? Was she talking about carrying my expenses?
"Are you mad? I can't", I drove my eyes away.
"Why? What's the problem?", she exclaimed?
"That's not right. I mean I don't wanna be a burden on you", I lowered my eyes.
"And what about the time when you asked me to live in your home? Wasn't I a burden for you?", she raised her eyebrows.
"Shut up, Sana. Things aren't the same", I shrugged off and left her hand. "When you came here you were not jobless. But now I'm jobless. I just kept you with me but you carried your expenditure"
"But you were the one to help me when I had none by my side. Now I wanna be the one to be by your side", she looked at me intensely as our eyes met.
"That's silly", I mumbled.
"No", she exclaimed.
"It is Sana. It is. You can hardly earn a decent amount from the club"
"I'll join dancing too", she muttered.
"What?", I blurted out. "You're not gonna dance in a club. You're a DJ", I reminded her. I would fucking hate if any guy saw her dancing and touched her. It would crack me up.
"Ok fine. I won't do it", she assured me. "I'll join some coffee shop"
I looked at her. How effortlessly she said all these! I couldn't be luckier to have her by my side. I smiled at her as I had no other option to choose.
My eyes wandered around her face. Her brown skin always made her look gorgeous, the metal nose ring on her right nostrils shone with the sunray, a slight smile on her face invited me to take over her lips.
I put my lips on her lips which turned brown because of continuous smoking but I loved it and I kissed her roughly. I grab her waist and pulled her on my lap. Closing our eyes we kissed each other like two hungry zombies. I was sucking her lower lips and she was working on my upper ones. It became more intense as my hands reached her ass. I squeezed her ass with the sync of our kiss for the first time. She broke the kiss and looked at me nervously.
"Aren't you feeling good?", I gave another squeeze as she tightly closed her eyes. She clutched my t-shirt tightly as I kept doing it. I knew she was loving it as she moaned.
"Sid", she moaned louder. I grabbed her tightly and attacked her throat, she had worn a deep neck top which revealed her cleavage. My lips touched her intensely there. She lost her control on herself and uttered a loud moan.
Her moans made me go hell crazy. My hands wanted to touch her more intimately, every part of her body, my lips wanted to taste not only her lips but every inch of her. I craved for her like a thirsty man. I placed a deep love bite on her clit as she hissed.
"I can't take this", she hissed into my ears.
"You don't want me to do everything I can do to you?", I mumbled into her ears.
"I want. I hell want", she said grabbing my face into her hands.
"Do you really want me to peel off every piece of cloth of your body?", I teased her as I sucked her earlobes and pulled off her sleeve.
"Yes", she breathed heavily, closing her eyes.
"Do you want me to have you completely?", I bit her neck again to make her ready for it.
"Yes. Yes", she moaned louder.