Ugh. Wasn’t it enough that my parents bugged me with this? Now my boyfriend joins their stupid club? I walk up the stairs and slam the door. I know that mom and dad where in the living room, but I was so upset that I didn’t want to talk to them. I go to my stereo, turn it on and let the music blast through my room. I get my laptop and IM Scott. It doesn’t take him long to answer.
Scott: Hey, Bobbi. What’s up?
Bobbi: Hey. Can we talk?
Scott: Sure. Who’s bugging you?
Bobbi: My parents, my uncles, my cousin and now my boyfriend.
Scott: I told you I would have made a great boyfriend, if only you would have accepted me.
Bobbi: Scott, I’m serious. Could you please be serious for a minute?
Scott: Of course. Sorry. So, what happened?
Scott: What about it?
Bobbi: Mom and dad kept hinting that maybe I shouldn’t go in light of recent unfortunate events.
Scott: Have you told them?
Bobbi: About me nearly dying? Of course not. No one knows, except for you and Amanda. And Amanda won’t tell.
Scott: Then what?
Bobbi: Dad is trying to convince me not to go. He even went behind my back to ask Sam if he knew anything about my plans.
Scott: Did he?
Scott: Your boyfriend, did he know?
Bobbi: No. We had a fight.
Scott: About your trip?
Bobbi: Yes. He was angry because I haven’t told him.
Scott: Why didn’t you?
Bobbi: It’s none of his business.
Scott: That’s not true.
Bobbi: What do you mean?
Scott: You are in a relationship with him. The way you expect him to tell you important things, especially, when they regard his safety and well-being, the same way he expects you to do the same. Don’t you trust him?
Bobbi: Of course I do.
Scott: Do you care for him?
Bobbi: Of course I care for him. A lot actually.
Scott: I know this is new to you, but if you want this relationship to work you need to be more involved and let him be more involved in your life. You were used to this life where you could do whatever the fuck you wanted without answering to anyone. And even though your parents knew enough, we both know they don’t know half of it. Listen, if you care for this guy and trust him, you need to let him in. I know it’s scary, but otherwise neither of you will be happy.
Bobbi: When did YOU get so wise?
Scott: Idk. Must be the thin air on the mountains J.
Bobbi: Ha ha, yeah, right.
Scott: But seriously, Bobbi. If you think you can’t open up to the guy then maybe you shouldn’t be with him in the first place.
Bobbi: Are you suggesting I should break up with him?
I stop mid-sentence. I read the line I wrote but don't send it to Scott. Do I want to break up with Sam? No, I care for him. A lot. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s more than that. But I’m not ready to admit it yet. What Scott says makes somewhat sense. I would be pissed if Sam wouldn’t tell me if he planned on doing something dangerous. Maybe Scott’s right. I am so used to do whatever I want, disregarding others that now it seems like an intrusion when someone actually wants to know these things. Maybe I overreacted. I don’t know. I’m so confused.
Scott: You still there. I see you are typing, but nothing came through.
I delete the sentence and write a new one.
Bobbi: Still here. Kept thinking about what you said.
Scott: Don’t do anything tonight. Go to sleep and tomorrow you’ll figure it out.
Scott: No problem. What are big brothers for?
Bobbi: Yeah. Love you. ♥
Scott: Love you, too, Ice Queen. ♥
I log out and close my laptop. I change into my PJ and walk into my bathroom and brush my teeth. I feel this strong urge to call or text Sam, but decide to just leave it for tonight. I have some thinking to do.
I want to go to Argentina. I want to climb Aconcagua. I don’t want anyone I love with me. It’ll be hard anyways. Scott will be there. And as much as he bugs me I do love him. He has been the big brother I always wanted. No offense to Matt, who is responsible and I love him too, but Scott is just fun. He is like a male version of me. With him I can be myself. He’s the only one who gets me. But Sam is sweet and understanding and even though he doesn’t understand this lifestyle he supports me and I can be myself with him too. I never felt the need to hide with him. He knows some of my secrets, things no one else knows. But when he asked me why I didn’t tell him about the climb I felt angry that he thought I had to do it. Like he is my boss. No. Sam didn’t ask it like that. When I met his eyes I saw hurt in them. Maybe I did exaggerate. Ugh, I’m getting a headache. This relationship thing is harder than I thought.