Imperfect Hearts

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OAKLYNN'S POV

 

I'm not over Kylo King.

It's been three weeks and four days. But who's counting?

Now that's out of the way, let's move on, shall we?

Did I cry for him?

Yes. Too many times.

Was I tempted to call him?

Yes.

Did I religiously stalk him on social media?

C'mon?! That's a given. I religiously stalked his social media pages-daily-and at least four times on the weekend.

Don't judge me.

Did I not so accidentally butt-dial him?

Yes.

Did he answer?

No.

Did I drunk text him?

Almost. On more occasions that I'm ashamed to admit.

Did I listen to Tracy Chapman's Baby Can I hold You more times than I can count and until my neighbors got annoyed?

Yes!

I'm pathetic. I know.

I had one last trump card though... but I needed to forget about him.

Move on.

But I couldn't.

I had his house keys and I had to return some of his stuff to him and vice-a-versa. I had tried to get Mason to be a go-between but he refused. Told me he wasn't there during the initial exchange of said items so why should he be a part of it now? Don't even get me started on Hailey...While she sympathized with me she took his side of cos.

"I love you Lynn but you were wrong. You didn't even need to lie really. It was unnecessary. You should have just been honest with him from the jump," she said. "While I understand why you felt you had to keep the truth away from him, you could have just put it out there. I'm sure he would have understood. But now you've hurt him and all this could have been avoided."

"Why couldn't he just trust me?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Really??!"

"Whatever," I grumbled. "I don't need him. I don't need this drama."

"Now you're just lying," Hailey laughed in my face.

His rejection still stung like a slap. If I went to him the way I was feeling right now, he would lacerate me with ruthless words, would peel away any remnants of self-respect I still had left. I had no strength to expose myself to his brand of truth and evaluation, didn't have the strength to fare against the memory of a man I couldn't forget.  Just the thought of saying his name sent a chill down my spine. My entire body felt as if it was operating on some kind of auto mechanism I hadn't known I possessed.

My chest was so tight that it felt like a miracle that I was breathing. Everywhere I looked or went, there were reminders of him. Especially in my apartment. I was really tempted to move out but that's an expense I couldn't afford right now.

I didn't know what to do... I didn't know how to get him back in my life. I felt utterly lost, alone. All I wanted to do was crawl into the nearest hole and never emerge. But unfortunately, this was real life. I realized that growing up was a trap.

I had graduation coming up and  I was about to step back into the corporate world. It was time to put on my big girl panties and move on with my life as best as I could. But the media wouldn't afford me that luxury. They made getting over Kylo next to impossible.  Tristan's stupid ring continued to wreak havoc in my life. Somehow-well let me put it this way... Since Kylo walked out on me, I kept wearing it as a sign of rebellion. I don't know what I was trying to prove so don't ask me. It was stupid, I know.

Anyway back to the object of my demise. I continued to rock the bling for a while until the novelty wore off. I mean I liked it, it was beginning to grow on me. It matched my eyes and I loved the way the diamonds sparkled around the emerald...okay I'm lying.

Truth of the matter was, I couldn't get the blasted thing off. And I didn't have time to go to jewelers to hack it off. I had promised myself that I'd do it after school but something came up, so I put it off until the next and the next until an eagle-eyed journo zeroed in on it while I was at McDs and another spotted it at a traffic light. One thing led to another and soon I was making headlines all over again and word on the street in the entertainment circles was that Kylo had popped the question.

This painted a very bad picture-he probably thought I was still wearing this wretched thing for a reason. The reason being Tristan and I had reconciled. The paps hounded me-and him, pressing him for a comment or confirmation about our upcoming nuptials.

Gosh! What a mess...

I got up early and got ready for a day at college. I slipped a pastel skater dress over my head and put on flats before throwing my hair in a messy bun. My salon appointments were still overed until end of the year but I didn't have the time or the energy to go get it done. Maybe I'd have to make time this weekend.

"Morning sweetness."

"Hey, Noah."

I smiled at the guy who had been trying to score a date with me since the beginning of the semester. We had a few classes together but hardly talked until recently. He was an all-American quarterback-a really hot, filthy rich-and dateable one; girls threw themselves at him, but...

You know, don't make me say it. It hurts too much, have a heart.

"You're looking drained gorgeous. You're okay?" he asked as we walked down the hallway.

"Yeah, just didn't sleep well that's all."

"You should have called me," he smiled wickedly, his freshly shaved jawline glinted with that trademark arrogance of his while his chocolate gaze roved over me. "I would have come to tell you a really good bedtime story...sang you a lullaby...tucked you in...and kissed you goodnight.."  he drawled, arrogant implacability in his tone.

"How generous of you," I forced a smile and crossed my arms.

"All you have to do is ask sweetness," he winked as he whipped his floppy blonde hair across his brow. "Once you've had a real man, you will get over your little infatuation with that pretty-boy rockstar," he said, a hungry gleam in his eyes.  I could almost hear his sexual mental gears clicking.



Lee Taylor (caramelcherries)

Edited: 14.08.2020

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