Saint or a Sinner


Rosabelle – Age: 27

Have you ever felt like you’ve died and are looking at everything from above… from a third person’s perspective? Because the pain was just too much to bear and being numb felt much better than allowing the pain to rip through your heart… that’s what happened to me when I got the call from Alejandro’s sister Gabriella, telling me he had died. A speeding car had hit him while he was cycling and he couldn’t even make it to the hospital because of his head injury.

Alejandro was the sweetest man I had ever met and we’d been together for over a year. Apart from my best friend, Alee was the only person I could rely upon. We had met in a Tattoo parlor where I had been standing for over half an hour; trying to decide upon a design to get on my waist. He was there too and had been watching me for some time. After five more minutes he approached me with a small piece of paper and silently placed it over the design book I was looking at. On the paper was a tribal design depicting a howling wolf and I immediately wanted it on me without even looking at the person who had done me this huge favor. And when I did look up at the man standing next to me; grinning like a fiend – I felt something tugging at my heart. He had that face that instantly puts you under a spell… with his beautiful smile and his sparkling blue eyes.

After I got my beautiful tattoo, he had asked me out for a coffee and for the first time in my life; I had thrown caution out of the window and accepted. That day marked the beginning of one of the happiest times of my life… the best decision I had ever made. And now he was dead and I was stranded in a desert of despair with no way out in sight.

When I returned home from the burial ceremony, I found myself dreading the loneliness. There was only one person I wanted with me in this situation – Lionel – my best friend. He would understand my pain and not try to just soothe me with hollow words. I dialed his number and waited, hoping he was in the city and not some place far from civilization.

“Hello Peanut, to what do I owe this pleasure?” he sounded like his usual happy self and I envied him for it. And then I started berating myself of being jealous of my best friend’s happiness because he had earned it… he had gone through hell to earn it… and who knew it better than i? I was with him when he broke apart.

“Rosa what’s wrong? Speak to me”. Now he sounded concerned and I realized I hadn’t said a word yet. “Leo he’s dead”, I said on a broken whisper, “Please come over. Please I don’t want to be alone”.

He didn’t ask anything else, just stayed quiet for a while and then, “I’ll be there in 20 minutes”. The phone slipped from my limp fingers on the floor and my head fell in my hands and the tears started flowing.


Jade Wolf

Edited: 26.10.2020

Add to Library