One of the marketing gimmicks struggling writers employ is wearing a T-Shirt advertising their books.  I've seen at least a dozen such attempts on the internet.  Sometimes the person is wearing their ad and sometimes it's just a picture of the shirt just coming out of the box.  I had never seen one in person until this last weekend.

I was in an airport, waiting for my bag to come off the carousel when I spotted him.  He was wearing a red shirt with a bunch of book names down the back of it.  He stood right in front of me and I read the list of seven books over and over trying to figure out if the ad was working.  

Did I want to buy his books?  

Did I think I could sell my books if I made up a T-shirt with my stuff on it?

Welp, there was a couple of things wrong with his ad.  A bland list of book titles wasn't going to do anything for me.  There has only been one book that I wanted to read based on the title alone and that book was 'Out of the Soylent Planet' by Robert Kroese.  It was hilarious by the way, but I bet that a list of my book titles is only going to set me on fire without igniting anyone around me.  

So, what if I did pictures of my books instead?  Maybe that would be better, but they're still going to be on my body... which poses a problem.  It did on that gentlemen's body as well.  He had a muffin top happening.  I'm not judging!  I also have a muffin top sometimes, but it means that both of us make rotten candidates for advertising our products. 

I have also seen people get stickers made up to advertise their book on the back window of their vehicle.  It's like 'Screw the stick figure family!  Buy my book!'  I have seen this done so that the ad doesn't look the least bit cheesy, but even with perfectly made stickers, you have a few problems.  Firstly, you'd better keep your SUV perfectly clean.  Secondly, you'd better never drive like a saint, otherwise, other drivers will be explaining to the cops, "The back window was an advertisement for 'The Devil's Remorse' by Kim Carol.  Have you experienced passion dark as Hell yet?"

"Oh yeah?  We've been getting a few complaints about her," the cop explains.  "She always gets off.  She's good at crying."  (NOT A REAL BOOK OR A REAL AUTHOR)

Anywhooooo... It's really hard to advertise your books.  It's no wonder people are stooping to these depths to get noticed.